


The Art of Living

by ShaneDarkwin



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Ahsoka Tano Needs a Hug, Alternate Universe - High School, Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Angst and Feels, Attempt at Humor, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff without Plot, Gen, Grief/Mourning, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:28:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 22,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22471060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShaneDarkwin/pseuds/ShaneDarkwin
Summary: high school AU;Riyo gets transferred to Coruscant High and is taken in by Padmé and her surprisingly quirky group of friends.Usual high school drama ensues, everyone has issues (tw will be included in the chapters), loads of fluff and humor,  everyone gets the support they deserve and they end up happy although puberty sucks!(weekly updates)
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, CT-7567 | Rex/Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala & Obi-Wan Kenobi, Riyo Chuchi/Ahsoka Tano
Comments: 23
Kudos: 124





	1. A New Hope

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [we make our own love in this world](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5967562) by [thestartoftime](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thestartoftime/pseuds/thestartoftime). 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as you might be able to see this work is heavily inspired by thestartoftime's "we make our own love in this world". it is in no way a secret and i sincerely urge you to take a look at her work if you haven't already because it's honestly amazing.
> 
> with that said, buckle in, enjoy, i'll hopefully see you down there.

Stepping out into the crowded hallway of Coruscant High Riyo felt the overwhelming urge to curl up into a ball and just let the stream of students take her away. Or preferably drop everything to run out the door and go home, go back to her old school and forget the shenanigans that had led her here. But since neither of those were exactly an option she had to tough it out and fight her way to her first class. One step at a time, she told herself. 

Today being her first day at a new school meant that she had to go through the usual procedure of meeting the Principal. He had seemed nice enough, surprisingly well organised for a high school principal if Riyo's two cent were worth anything. She tried to recall where he had told her to go but to no avail. The information was lost in the endless swirl of words that Palpatine had dumped on her in his 30 minute speech, along with the names of several teachers, counselors and places and something about extra curriculars she had applied for. Since her brain didn't leave her any other option Riyo stepped closer to the locker to her left as not to stand too exposed while she shifted the weight of an unholy amount of books in her arms so she could try and take a peek at her schedule. 

In what she considered to be a small silver lining she actually succeeded in balancing her books on one arm and her knee as she carefully pulled at the sad looking print out. She had just managed to reveal her first class to be math and as she was thinking that hey, maybe, just maybe this day wasn't going to be as horrible as she had expected, the sudden pressure of somebody bumping into her sent her enthusiasm back overboard. 

By some kind of miracle Riyo caught herself before actually falling but had to sacrifice her cargo to do so. She was left staring at a not so insignificant number of school books sprawled out on the floor in front of her. 

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry." 

It took Riyo a moment to register that it was the person that had just walked into her who was talking and that they were talking to _her_ , so by the time she had willed her soul back into her body there was a girl in tight jeans and a white blouse crouching down in front of her, already picking up what Riyo had dropped. 

She hadn't been expecting this kind of eagerness to help and was admittedly a little bit of her comfort zone when the girl stood up and held out Riyo's books to her, smiling apologetically.

"Here you go, and again, really sorry. I swear this has never happened to me before," she said but Riyo was too busy comprehending how pretty this girl was to give a coherent answer. 

"Thanks," she forced herself to say and hoped the stranger hadn't noticed her staring. There was just something in the way the two strands of hair hanging out of her otherwise neatly done high ponytail framed her face that gave off the perfect impression of human error when even after ten seconds of interaction, Riyo could tell this girl had never made a genuine mistake in her life. 

For a horrifying second she thought her staring had been too obvious because the brunette hesitated for a second too long. 

"This is going to be so weird but I have to ask, you're the transfer student, right? Riyo Chuchi?" 

"Yeah, you're right, this is weird."

_Goddamnit, Chuchi,_ you're _weird_.

There was a look of horror and mortification in the girl's eyes that made Riyo blurt out she was only joking and, thankfully, she got a laugh in response. 

"I know some people who'd love your humor," she said, visibly relieved, "Anyhow, let me explain. I'm President of the Debate Club and we're provided lists of all attendees and well, it's kind of rare for us to get new members that aren't in the established 'nerd' circles so I may have taken some liberties and… Google-stalked you."

At the last part she flashed Riyo another embarrassed smile that could have made the head of the CIA surrender intimate details about the Iraq war. It goes without saying that Riyo forgave her instantly. 

"I'm not sure if I should feel flattered right now or be concerned what incriminating info you've uncovered," she replied, hoping Padmé wouldn't be able to tell how much truth the question actually contained. 

"Oh, don't worry, barely anything showed. But it was enough to gather that you'll make an excellent addition to our team and I like to help future prospects get as comfortable here as they possibly could in the nightmare that is high school."

It only took Riyo a good five seconds to get the hint and with an intelligent "Oh, right!" she began fumbling at her books to locate the schedule but Padmé was faster. She snatched it from the top of the stack and her eyes lit up when she recognised the teacher's name.

"You're in Mr. Fisto's class, how nice! I know someone in there, actually, but maybe we talk about that later, you're going to be late."

With that she turned on her heel, Riyo's schedule still in hand, and led the slightly puzzled yet grateful Riyo to her classroom. 

* * *

Unlike the majority of students, Riyo didn't hate math. She was by no means what anyone would consider a nerd either but for the most part she got on in math just fine and even found herself enjoying the odd topic. Pre-calc, however, was not one of them.

Thanks to Padmé she had arrived at the classroom just in time to join the rest of the students in entering and taking their seats and she had been able to claim one in the second to last row at one of the walls. Riyo wasn't sure when it had started but for years now this had been her personal favourite of seating positions. She coped with sitting in the far back just fine and as long as she could easily overlook half the class a desk in the mid-row was alright with her too. Anything but the front really. Front row seats were designed for people who didn't fear the spotlight and were eager to prove themselves as good students any chance they could get. They were designed for people like the girl in the red tank top. 

As it turns out Mr. Fisto was one of those teachers who, after the mandatory welcome and introduction, went straight to business. Riyo didn't mind much, she was glad to not have to make polite conversation with class mates or find out what everybody else's favourite food was. It was hypocritical of her but she enjoyed finding out about people's personalities by watching them closely for subtle hints. A yawn or an eye roll when a specific person said something. Or not so subtle hints like the excessive need to show off her skills as was the case with tank top girl. She didn't seem like your typical science nerd either, her answers were slightly above average at best and from what Riyo could gather of the back of her head and torso she didn't really fit appearance-wise either. Then again, it was unfair to put people in a box, Riyo reminded herself. 

They had been given a series of easy problems to start with and when the time came to compare results tank top girl's hand remained up in the air for what must have been at least ten minutes. So long that Mr. Fisto eventually felt compelled to say something. 

"I see your arm up, Ms. Tano, but maybe it's time to let the others participate as well."

His comment, though without ill-intent, earned a couple of chuckles from the back row. For the remaining lesson she kept her hand raised at shoulder height only, almost as if to hide it from view, and Riyo felt a little sting in her heart at the sight. She made a mental note to ask Padmé about the girl later but she wasn't due to pick her up until right before lunch and by the time lunch rolled around Riyo had long forgotten about her plan. 

* * *

Padmé Amidala wasn't merely the President of Debate Club, as it turned out the girl who had almost swept Riyo off her feet in the hall was no less than the head of Student Council and wildly popular among students and teachers alike. 

Riyo had overheard this information more than she'd been told when Padmé had shown up to guide her to the cafeteria after her biology lesson. Apparently, Riyo's teacher, Mrs. Ti, had recently had a child and Padmé had to 'know everything about the little boy'. 

The horde of students roaming the hall was thinning out by the time they set off for lunch and while Padmé apologised profusely for taking so long Riyo was actually kind of glad about the delay. Additionally to conversations with total strangers, crowded halls were another situation well outside of Riyo's little comfort bubble. 

Before she'd enrolled at Coruscant High, Riyo had attended an privately funded boarding school. It came with the whole package of uniforms, old buildings that looked like the set of Harry Potter and a strict no tolerance rule regarding unwanted behaviours. The last also ensured something Riyo desperately missed as soon as she stepped foot into the high school's cafeteria: quiet. 

The entirety of school grounds had a sort of sacred atmosphere to them and if there was noise it was barely ever more than a low chatter. This was a totally unknown sensation to Riyo and quite frankly startled her. There seemed to not be a single table in this giant area that didn't foster a screaming kid or loudly arguing teenagers. 

"I think I saw my friends over there," Padmé said and broke Riyo out of her tiny meltdown, "are you coming? I'd love to introduce you." 

Weighing her options and coming to the conclusion that eating alone on her first day probably wasn't the right decision, she accepted the offer and trailed behind Padmé once more. 

Riyo wasn't sure what exactly she'd imagined Padmé's friends to be like but it certainly hadn't been _that_. The table they were steering towards was occupied by a bunch of guys and only one other girl. It wasn't the fact that they were male, Riyo wasn't one of those people who believed men and women couldn't be friends, she just didn't have Padmé pegged for the type of girl who would enjoy the company of teenage boys. 

She could hear the commotion growing louder as they approached the corner and Riyo scanned the occupants to try and get an overview of the situation. 

Three eerily similar looking guys about the age of seventeen were standing huddled around two figures still in their seats. A fourth boy was sat at the head of the table and looked like he would rather be anywhere else than where he was. Upon seeing Padmé and Riyo he got up and walked towards them, arms stretched out to the sides in greeting as he exclaimed: "Finally someone with a brain has arrived! I'm so glad to see you, Padmé." 

The girl in question hugged him and then introduced him to Riyo as Obi-Wan. They shared a quick 'hi' and a soft smile before he turned to Padmé again, his face painted in a mockingly hurt expression. 

"So you've started auditioning for new friends and now that you've found one you just came here to tell us you're deserting us?" 

There was a series of cheers and he winced, coming to stand beside the two girls and granting them full view of the spectacle that was taking place.

One of the two previously hidden figures Riyo recognized as the girl from her math class. Now that Riyo could see her up close she noticed that it weren't even the corn rows that were the most prominent feature about her but rather the slit in her eyebrow and a small sparkle in her nose that had to be a piercing. 

_Someone's very obviously queer._

She had one elbow propped up on the table, her hand clasped into the right of a guy that Riyo could only describe as the embodiment of 'tall, dark and handsome': he had dark blonde hair that reached just beneath his chin, a faint scar on his face and wore all black. Riyo even had to admit he was quite conventionally attractive. 

Both of them seemed engorged in an arm wrestling match that captured the attention of the surrounding boys completely. They were shouting at the pair in encouragement though Riyo couldn't be sure which one of them was cheering on who but then again it didn't look like they had much of a plan either. 

"Actually nevermind, I can't blame you. Would you consider setting me up with new people as well?," Obi-Wan asked, eyes stuck in the scene playing out in front of them as he was unable to look away in the manner one would be drawn in by a car accident. 

Padmé chuckled but left the question hanging in the air and instead stepped closer to Riyo, pointing at one of the spectators with buzzed, blonde hair. 

"That's Rex," she said before moving on the guy next to him, who sported a very similar if not shorter haircut in a much darker colour, "that's Jesse," now pointing at the remaining boy with slightly longer, equally dark hair, "and last but not least Fives."

Riyo raised an eyebrow. 

"Nicknames, I'm assuming?" 

"They're from Florida." 

"Ah, I see." 

The match came to a sudden end and instantly the girl was on her feet, slamming her hands on the table. She looked like she was about to jump 'tall, dark and handsome', giving him a look that could easily have turned someone into ice even if it was having the opposite effect on Riyo. 

"That's not a victory, you _cheater_!" 

"Who are you calling a cheater, _loser_?" 

"That's my cue," Padmé mumbled under her breath and swooped in with a soothing hand on the furious girl's shoulder. Although her eyes stayed glued on her opponent who didn't even bother masking his smugness she let Padmé push her back down into her chair. 

"If you two are done behaving like fucking neanderthals now," Padmé hissed and mentioned to Riyo, "we've got a guest and I'd quite like to not scare her away immediately. So behave." 

For good measure she shot both of them a glare at the last word before straightening her posture and then gesturing to the still smugly grinning dude and then math class girl. 

"These two idiots are Anakin and his little sister, Ahsoka. They fight constantly and you might think they want each other dead at times but I'm pretty certain they've never spent more than two nights apart and if they ever did one of them would probably die."

Anakin leaned over to the guy sitting next to him who Padmé had introduced as Rex and murmured something Riyo couldn't make out. Whatever his comment had been, it caused Rex to errupt in laughter anew and, judging by the flinch and pained expression that spread on Anakin's face, earned him a kick in the shin. Ahsoka flashed him a satisfied grin and then turned around to the table behind her. She grabbed a chair out of its seating arrangement and pulled it in the vacant spot next to her, patting the back rest. 

"Since you're still here I take it you deserve to sit with us." 

Riyo gratefully took the seat while Padmé slid into the one Obi-Wan had saved for her. She had just positioned her bag at the right angle so it wouldn't fall over and spill all of its contents on the floor when she noticed Ahsoka's stare on her. Suppressing (or more accurately: trying and failing to suppress) a blush she turned to face her. 

"Do we know each other by any chance? You seem familiar."

"We, uh, we're in the same math class. But I'm in the back, I doubt you've really noticed me at all." 

Riyo knew she was in trouble before Ahsoka even answered. There was a spark in her eyes and a smug grin spreading on her lips that made Riyo's mouth to suddenly dry. 

"I don't think I could _not_ notice someone like you."

Before Riyo had time to react Anakin called Ahsoka's name and her attention shifted elsewhere, granting a very flustered Riyo a chance to collect herself. 

* * *

There was a lot Riyo had yet to learn about public schools. For starters that she had to pay for the food. And because easy didn't seem to be the way things were done at Coruscant High, you had to acquire a card you would charge with money and not just pay in cash. 

"It's a fool proof system!" Padmé had argued while everyone at the table just rolled their eyes in annoyance. Apparently she had been an avid fighter in getting the system established at their school at the start of her Student Council career. 

Riyo had been given a card by Palpatine during her greeting but he had neglected to mention the credit system and being the capable, intelligent young woman Riyo was she had come to school with a full five bucks on her. Assuming it would surely be enough Ahsoka had turned her head at Padmé sharply, giving her a sickly sweet smile. 

"Yes, one would assume so." 

Throwing her hands in the air the older girl signalled defeat and began going on a rant about everyone always knowing better and that they should "join the Council too if they were so smart". 

She then continued to berate Ahsoka that whatever she was eating right now was nothing more than a pile of processed goo anyways and if she really gave a crap about her body and her athletic goals she would prep her own meals all the while pulling out Tupperware container after Tupperware Container from her backpack. 

It soon became apparent that Padmé didn't want to stop her little Ted talk anytime soon. She got so into it that she barely even noticed Anakin snatching one of the containers and opening it to reveal a single serving of pasta. 

While Ahsoka continued to feign mild interest as a distraction, her brother pulled out a single piece of pasta (it was spaghetti) and raised the noodle high above his head until it hang down to show off its entire length. With nothing able to stop the charade now, Ahsoka scoffed and Padmé was pulled out of her speech. 

"Excuse me, wha-" 

Anakin sucked the noodle into his mouth with a slurping sound and Padmé squeezed her eyes shut, looking like she was now seriously considering Obi-Wans proposal of getting new friends. 

Anakin swallowed and then exclaimed:

"Delicious, finally some good fucking food!" 

The entire table broke out into a new fit of laughter, for the exception of Riyo. Even Padmé couldn't hide her chuckle. 

Sitting next to her, Ahsoka was the first to notice Riyo's poorly hidden confusion. She narrowed he eyes at her and the exchange that followed went something like this:

"You are familiar with our God and saviour, Gordon Ramsay, right?" 

"Hate to disappoint but no." 

"But there surely must have been some other form of popular memes at your school though."

"..."

"Memes? Funny internet phenomena? Pretty much a currency in some places of the online world?" 

"I really don't know what you want me to say to that." 

"With all due respect, where the _fuck_ did you go to school?" 

By now they had drawn the attention of the entire group to themselves and the sudden pressure that put on Riyo showed in her speech. 

"I, uh, it's a boarding school, you probably wouldn't know it, Pantora Academy? It's quite old, kind of, um,... " 

"... elite? Prestigious? Only about the most renowned boarding school for Arts and Politics in this country?" 

To her surprise it was Obi-Wan who had injected himself into the conversation. Though his words seemed harsh, his eyes mirrored the same excitement that had been audible in his voice when Riyo met his gaze. The latter did end up convincing Riyo to advance in the topic. 

"Guilty on all accounts, yes. Although they don't like to admit to the prestige accusation."

Before she knew what was happening the boy stood up, ushering Ahsoka out of her seat next to Riyo to claim it for himself and he scooted the chair closer to hers. He pretty much demanded to hear everything about what it was like at Pantora, telling her how he had always wanted to attend but his parents insisted that he stayed with them. He neglected the financial aspect which Riyo was glad about since it meant she didn't have to come clean about her mother's profession just yet. They spent what remained of lunch talking about the expectations and reality of boarding school life, the moral code of Pantora's Elite Society and the architecture of its grounds. Obi-Wan was particularly interested in this, confessing he had dreamed about adding his own building to the masterpieces in a renovation. 

When the bell heralded the end of lunch and Riyo was a little surprised at the ping of sadness spreading in her stomach. She had enjoyed their talk more than expected. So naturally she gladly accepted when Obi-Wan offered to walk her to her next class. They gave a quick goodbye to the rest of the group who were helping Padmé store away her assortment of Tupperware and went on their way, immediately diving back into conversation. 

They rounded a corner and Riyo caught sight of what had to be her history course just as Obi-Wan concluded his analysis of the infamous arch over the academy's main entrance way. 

"You know, if you ever find yourself in need of company, we'd be happy to have you again. Padmé and me could really use the company of someone sophisticated and it wouldn't hurt if it rubbed off on the others, either."

They stopped in front of the classroom as her course flowed into it, taking their seats. There was a kind smile on the boy's lips and he pushed his glasses back up his nose as Riyo returned it. She was about to reply that, yes, she would very much like to see them again too, when someone called her name from inside the classroom. It was her teacher, asking her to step inside and when Riyo turned around again to excuse herself, Obi-Wan was gone. 

A tad confused but mostly pleasantly surprised by the events of lunch she followed the teachers instructions, claiming an empty desk by the window. As she pulled her heavy book from her bag she even found herself smiling to herself. 

Yeah, maybe this new school wasn't too bad after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo. i ramble in these. if you enjoyed i'd be happy if you let me know in a comment or by leaving kudos. this is a 12 chapter fic and i'm pleased to announce that all 12 are already finished and ready to go. though this shit will take on a more serious tone in some later chapters it still stays humorous for the most part, but sometimes life just really gets you down and our fave characters know that too well. have a good day, frens ^. ^


	2. If We Have Each Other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the chapter title is taken from the song of the same name by alec benjamin. you may consider this a song fic

The first week of school passed by in a blur and by the time Sunday evening rolled by Ahsoka found herself fight off another small existential crisis. She dumped a handful of books into her bag and then peeked her head out the door of her room to scan the hall for any sign of life. There was a rhythmic series of thumps echoing from Anakin's room indicating he was at least trying to compensate his feelings about the next week by hitting the punching bag that hung from his ceiling instead of wallowing in despair like Ahsoka currently was. 

With a sigh she made her way to the kitchen, opening the fridge only to close it again after not finding anything that piqued her interest. She wasn't so much hungry as she just needed something to do. 

As if on cue, Anakin's door swung open and out came a sweaty hairy mess she recognised as her brother. His hair was getting a bit too long for her taste but if he thought it was a good idea to go back to his 9th grade emo look who was she to tell him off. 

"Whatcha staring at, Snips?" he asked as he pushed her away from the fridge, opening the door, scrunching up his nose at its contents and then settling for a glass of tab water instead. 

"Just surprised to find that Bigfoot apparently lives with me now," she shot back. God she really hoped he wasn't picking up on her actual mood. 

Anakin raised an eyebrow at her as he gulped down his water in one swig. He turned to refill it and, knowing she wasn't going to avoid it anyways, Ahsoka decided to go into offense about her feelings. 

"Do you know if mom's home?" 

"Uh, I know she didn't go with Zane on that business trip but beats me if she's home home."

Ahsoka suppressed an eyeroll. She couldn't quite wrap her head around why Anakin wouldn't just call him 'dad' but that wasn't a fight she was willing to pick right now. Or ever again, for that matter. 

When the Tano's had taken them in 4 years ago both Anakin and Ahsoka had been jumped around foster homes pretty much all their life. But while Anakin had been actively preventing any bonds from forming, Ahsoka threw her all into trying to please whatever foster parents she'd been paired with. The memories of those years still stung like venom and she pushed down the hurt. 

That had been the past, this was the present, she reminded herself. And in the present she carried the name of the people who didn't only take but were willing and happy to give back the love they received from Ahsoka. 

"Is something wrong? You know you can talk to me about anything." 

She blinked and her head slowly cleared of thoughts of the past. Looking up at Anakin she could tell he was worried and her heart began to sink again. He felt an overwhelming sense of responsibility for her, always had, and he had trouble sharing that responsibility even now. Sometimes she and Padmé contrived intricate little plans how to get Anakin to see a therapist but he somehow always found out what they were up to. The day they finally succeeded was coming, Ahsoka was sure of it, she just didn't know how soon. 

Attempting a smile she reached up her hand to fidget with one of her braids.

"It's nothing, just, yknow. Girl stuff."

"I'm friends with a girl, I know plenty about girl stuff."

She didn't even dignify that with an answer and just raised an eyebrow. 

"Come on, try me," he insisted and something about the tone of his voice let Ahsoka know he had a hunch that it she wasn't being straight with him. 

Under his boring stare she caved and heaved herself up on the counter, sighing deeply. 

"Fine, it's not really girl stuff. I'm just scared again and I don't like talking about it because I know how annoying it must be." 

Ahsoka kept her eyes down while she talked. The last thing she needed right now was seeing how Anakin looked at her like she was a wounded puppy. When he stayed silent she decided to continue. 

"There's already so much going on again and I know I'm not alone with this struggle and mom and dad love me no matter what but…"

"...you still can't shake that feeling that it's just empty promises." 

Anakin jumped up next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Telling herself she wouldn't cry Ahsoka turned her head towards him. 

"It's dumb, I know."

His voice was as gentle as the expression on face as Anakin said: "It is, Snips, but just because Zane and Mira love you doesn't mean you can't feel like this sometimes. What do you think why Artoo has been sleeping like rock most evenings? He sure doesn't mind the hour-long runs we go on but he doesn't get much of a say in it, either."

They both looked at the labrador soundly sleeping in a fluffy bed under the kitchen table. Anakin was right, the agile dog enjoyed their runs but in the end it was still his owner who needed them as an outlet. And it worked. Ever since they'd adopted the quirly ball of energy into their family, Anakin had been staying out of trouble more than he got into it. 

She let her head sink against his shoulder and closed her eyes. Ahsoka felt a strong arm wrap around her, holding her tight. 

For a moment she was eleven again, sitting on a bed in the foster care facility she and Anakin stayed at before her parents took them in. She had just returned from a family it didn't work out with, eyes stinging with tears of anger and disappointment at ending up in this place once more. There were footsteps approaching but Ahsoka kept her gaze fixed at the wall in front of her until she heard his voice call out her name a split second before Anakin practically slammed into her, pulling her into a hug that could have easily cracked a rib or two. He was speaking softly in her ear while he held her, promising that he would never leave her side again even if that meant they had to run away, that he would take care of her. That she didn't need to cry about anybody anymore because he was here now and all they would ever need was each other. 

Ahsoka reached for his hand and found it was easier now to blink away the tears as Anakin squeezed it lightly, almost as if to say _I'm still here, Snips._

The pressure in her chest was still there but it felt a little less life-threatening now. It wasn't often these days that they shared moments like this but that just made them all the more special to her. He'd always cared for her, looked out for her. She'd never asked him to. In the beginning she had resented how he treated her, Ahsoka could even recall multiple instances where she had yelled at him to just leave her alone back at the shelter. But her cries had been to no avail. 

She felt Anakin press a soft kiss to her scalp before lifting his arms in the air, yawning and stretching. 

"It's getting late. Off to bed you go." 

"You're two years older than me."

"Two and a half." 

"Still not enough to order me around like a five year old," she grumbled but jumped of the counter nonetheless. 

They trodded off to their rooms, said good night and she heard Anakin's door slide shut behind him as she closed her own. 

Although Ahsoka went to bed that night with the lingering fear of failure hanging over her head, she drifted to sleep knowing with grave certainty that even should she fail, there would always be people to help her get back up. And that was more than she could have ever asked for. 


	3. Tit for Tat

School had been the determining factor in Riyo's life ever since the age of ten. It sounded a bit sad when she said it out loud so she usually didn't, but she had made her peace with it over time. Once she'd overcome the rebellious teenager phase in which she less rebelled but more internalised a bunch of not so healthy coping mechanism (the only relic of her fifteen year old self was her lavender coloured hair) she had even grown to appreciate her school life for everything it brought her outside of the syllabus. She had made a couple of friends and her teachers had always been on the caring and nurturing side. Plus attending a boarding school had given her a chance at settling down rather than being dragged all across the country whenever her mother 'relocated'. 

Riyo knew it was unfair to blame her mother for their non-existent relationship but there was a part of her that had never forgiven her for leaving her father. Or then essentially wasting her custody rights by putting Riyo in a boarding school as soon as she'd reached the tender age of ten. Realistically, she was old enough to understand her mother had done everything she did out of love for Riyo and she'd always been good to her but the child in her still wished she hadn't been this _absent_. 

When her mother had told her she had found a position as legal representative for Imperial Trading Co. Riyo hadn't much cared if she was honest. She was happy for her, of course, but there had been so many companies and firms over the years that their names had melted together in her brain and formed an indistinguishable blob of letters and symbols, shoved into a tiny cabinet in the back of her mind. Her lack of enthusiasm had to have shown because her mother had leaned closer and spoken more animatedly, a glow in her eyes that Riyo hadn't remembered seening before. 

'I want you to come live with me in Coruscant. I know that I'm asking you to leave everything you have here behind but this is it, Riyo. This is what I've been working towards all my life and you would make me the happiest woman on earth if you were to come with me,' she had said before going on and on about how she understood if Riyo didn't want to and that she didn't want to pressure her to make a decision this big on a whim. But after her mother had left and Riyo was lying in her room at night, the calm breathing of her roommate the only noise to disturb the silence, she weirdly didn't feel like she was leaving anything behind at all. She had enjoyed her time here greatly and would probably miss a couple of people. Yet there were no major feelings about the change she was deciding on. Initially she had shrugged it off, attributed it to a hidden desire to improve her relationship with 'Legal Advisor Chuchi'. Sitting in the crowded, blaring and admittedly kind of stuffy cafeteria of Coruscant High, she realised that she just hadn't ever experienced what actual deep friendship was and mused that yes, a part of her might have known that all along. 

Rex was currently going on about one of their soccer matches from the last season, retelling the show down of a game he'd apparently 'brought home all by himself' in great detail to her while his brothers were fighting over the coincidental curly fry in their McDonald's bag. Although soccer had never sounded even remotely appealing to Riyo before she'd met this amazingly unique mix of individuals she found herself enjoying Rex' monologue. 

It was only the third time that Riyo was having lunch with them and she hadn't spoken much the second time after a short but mortifying conversation with Ahsoka. 

She and Anakin had been arguing over godknows what and their fight had ended in her saying something along the lines of "this is why mom and dad adopted me and not you" at which Riyo had, stupidly, asked "you're adopted?". She'd regretted her question instantly when she felt everyone's stare bore through her head and knew her ears were already turning bright red. Ahsoka had started laughing then, pointing at Anakin's tanned but definitely white and then her own bronzen black skin: "I mean we sure don't have the same parents so yeah, it's safe to say one of us had to be adopted." She'd followed up with a short summary of their life stories, clarifying that their parents weren't Anakin's biological parents either but only his foster parents as he had politely refused an adoption at age sizteen to keep his last name of 'Skywalker' whereas Ahsoka had assumed her parents family name and officially become a 'Tano'. 

Thankfully everyone else had taken her silence for her processing all this new information and Riyo could digest her embarrassment in peace as conversation around her resumed. She was determined not to make a fool of herself like this again, however, and followed Rex' colourful story with awe, sprinkling in the occasional clarifying question to demonstrate she was still listening. 

Just as he was coming up to his big moment Ahsoka leaned into Riyo's field of vision, carrot stick (obviously stolen from one Padmé's numerous lunch boxes) in hand and derailed the poor guy's retelling completely by asking:

"Riyo, honest answer, no thinking: When you saw me for the first time, did you think 'damn, buff lesbian goddess' or 'aw how nice, she's into sports and pretty so she must get all the guys'?" 

When Riyo blinked at her, showing off obvious confusion, Ahsoka propped her head to the side and shot her a smirk that just barely wandered off into flirting territory, "It's for science." 

She still wasn't exactly sure what had happened then but something inside of her seemed to break away. 

"My gaydar nearly broke if that's what you're getting at but I thought you're more the cutesy 'can't hurt a fly' type. Although that may have been influenced by your adorable attempt at beating Anakin in that arm wrestle match," Riyo answered truthfully and before she knew it she was returning the flirtatious smirk.

She watched in triumph as Ahsoka's face went from smug to confused and finally settled on utter defeat as the rest of the table, having heard their little exchange, broke out into roaring laughter at the sight of their friend's pitiful expression. 

At first Riyo wasn't sure how to react but when Fives put a hand on her shoulder in congratulation and Obi-Wan gave her a thumbs up through his stifled snickers a feeling of pride and belonging swelled in her chest.

Meanwhile Ahsoka was glaring angrily at her brother and Padmé and grumbled something about having been set up. 

"Not that you needed to but I think it's safe to say you just proved yourself worthy of becoming part of this shit show," Anakin informed Riyo and earned a well placed punch in the arm. 

Raising her hands to her head in a swift motion Padmé shushed the siblings who were already starting to bicker again and gave Riyo a look that read 'let's get out of here'.

Their way down to Debate Club was laced with laughter and impressions of Ahsoka's shocked face. Although Riyo did feel a tiny bit sorry for her she couldn't help but chime in with Padmé's giggles. It was like Riyo was high on this company, like the last five minutes had freed her of a weight she hadn't known she was carrying. There probably had been lingering doubt if she was really welcome in that group or merely tolerated and that doubt had been obliterated by Fives' and Jesse's roaring laughter, the approving if not impressed look on Anakin's and Rex' faces. 

Maybe it was finally time to give this friendship thing another go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're still getting to know everyone so pls bear with the slow pace of this. depression is kind of taking the fun out of this at the moment but i continue to be happy with this content so yeah, just let me know if there's anything you're interested in finding out or if something about the extensive backstories is unclear. you're also invited to visit my tumblr and just shoot an ask if you'd rather lurk (ive been there too dw), it's @bad-choices-and-femslash for those interested.
> 
> ps: i also do appreciate being made aware of typos/grammatical errors bc english still isn't my first language and my proficiency has its limitations although i often like to deny that


	4. Come Again?

"Hey, wait up!" 

Riyo turned her head to see a rather dishevelled looking Ahsoka Tano half sprint, half stumble her way. She had her backpack flung over one shoulder, an assortment of books and loose papers which Riyo could only guess were her math notes pressed to her chest. Biting back a smile Riyo did as told and let the other girl catch up to her. 

Ahsoka mumbled something along the lines of not having known Riyo was an Olympic runner and acted insulted when Riyo commented that she had assumed someone as athletic as her wouldn't have to pant this hard at what was hardly more than a 10 meter distance. 

"You've never even seen me play," Ahsoka argued and slowed to a stop at her locker. While she shoved her books into it, impressively not spilling any papers on the floor, she seemed to suddenly remember something. Her eyes lit up and there it was again, that feeling in the pit of Riyo's stomach that left her equal parts elated and confused. 

Ahsoka opened her mouth to say something but whatever it was died in her throat along with the light in her eyes. She had caught sight of something behind Riyo's back and before she could turn around to subtly check out the situation, Ahsoka let out a strained squeak and tried to jump into the locker after her backpack. For a five foot seven-ish person of her build she far surpassed Riyo's expectations of how far one could possibly bury themselves in a wall. Though it was highly amusing to watch her new friend squirm like a worm, she decided to take a peak at what had caused this hilarious scene.

Out of all the students in the corridor the ones that seemed like the most probable cause for such a pathetic reaction was the group of girls that had rounded the corner and who were now walking their way, engorged in their conversation. They all seemed to be your typical cheerleaders: pretty, slim and stylish. Make-up on point, faces all smiles that simultaneously looked like they didn't care about anyone or anything outside their circle but still drew in the attention of everyone around them. 

The one in the middle said something at which the entire horde started to giggle uncontrollably. All except for the girl with the raven-black hair that, following her line of sight, must have spotted Ahsoka who was changing strategies. Instead of stuffing her entire body inside her locker, she was now, albeit not very successfully, using its door as a shield. A brief shadow flickered across the cheerleader's face and Riyo wondered what she was thinking. They passed them without any further indication that there was an issue to adress and a groaning Ahsoka required Riyo's immediate attention. 

"So that was very… normal," Riyo stated as drily as she could. 

"Are you trying to say people back at your old school didn't try to break the laws of physics or their bones to avoid an ex?" 

That did explain it. Unintentionally her face must have given away her line of thought since the taller girl offered her a weak grin and "it's a long story" before slamming her locker shut. 

For a moment Riyo debated whether or not to ask but then again, she didn't want to pry and if Ahsoka had wanted to dwell on the topic she would have just done so. They didn't know each other too well yet but if there was something Ahsoka wanted to say nothing was going to keep her from doing so, that was for certain. 

"... or are you busy? Wouldn't want to keep you from any important transfer student business."

Ah, shit. This spacing out stuff was really getting out of hand.

"Come again?" Riyo asked and groaned internally at the awkward phrasing. She was used to giving long, stylised speeches in front of auditoriums without a stutter or slip up of any kind, so why was it that the second her counterpart was a pretty girl she lost her senses?

Either her internal monologue hadn't been so internal at all or Ahsoka was just feeling extra flirty today but she cocked her head to the side like a puppy and offered a drawn out "Lunch?" that made Riyo's cheeks flush. 

A wave of embarrassment washed over her and she let her head drop to avoid eye contact.

"Yeah, no I'm- I'm totally free," she sighed in defeat. When she raised her head again Ahsoka was looking at her as if Riyo was a riddle she was trying to solve.

"What."

It came out more like a command than a question but Ahsoka just smiled at her in a way that made Riyo's stomach flip. 

"You're pretty good at hiding it but underneath that 'quiet girl' façade you're just as useless as the rest of us." 

Riyo was appalled by that allegation but any words she could have brought forward in her defense were crushed under the eye contact between them. It lingered just long enough to make her mind go completely blank. 

She would have been lying if she said she was glad when the other girl broke it off abruptly and turned on her heel, saying they had to get going if they didn't want to eat standing up. But she was right and Riyo silently thanked her anyways because she had no idea what had just happened. 

* * *

The cafeteria was indeed packed when they got there. Riyo shrugged off the creeping sensation that busy, loud spaces inevitably caused in her. It was getting easier, she had to admit. A small victory but these days she took any she could get her hands on. 

Just in time Riyo noticed that she had lost the her companion somewhere between entering the room and getting in line for whatever sad excuse for food the school was serving them today. She bit back the snarky comment that crossed her mind; she didn't exactly need to be known as 'that weird chick who talks to herself'. The occasional stare she received for her bold hair colour was enough. Really, she some days she didn't know why she kept it. But every time it came close to growing out she found herself buying the same shade of lavender dye again. They do say never change a running system. 

Getting up on her toes she attempted to scan the room for the head of curls or maybe even another familiar face that could save her from spending lunch alone but even at maximum height she barely managed to see more than the back of heads and a few fleeting faces. Maybe it really was time to invest in some heels. She just needed to have a good one-on-one with herself about whether she was ready to give her mother the satisfaction of being right about this. 

The line stepped forward yet again and, confronted with choosing between the food options of the day, Riyo made a split second decision. It was a horrible one, one she never would have made if she had spared just a single thought for it and she immediately started internally cussing herself out for getting distracted. Ever since she got here her head hadn't been in the right place.

She tried and failed not to scrunch up her nose in disgust as she took the tray and gave the lunch lady the best fake-smile she could. It wasn't her fault that Riyo was a useless idiot who couldn't stay focused for more than a second at a time. 

"Oh there you are, I found the- what is that??"

Ahsoka had re-emerged from the sea of teenagers and was currently staring at the blob of food as if it had just threatened to eat her dog. Forcing her eyes away and back to Riyo she hesitated a moment as if to get her thoughts back in order, then resumed telling her that the rest of the group had claimed a table by the opposite side of the room. 

"You might wanna dump that though. I don't think Padmé would appreciate whatever that's supposed to be tainting her little kingdom of health."

Riyo pulled a face that gave Ahsoka a hard time to keep from laughing. 

"But I can't just leave it somewhere. It's still food."

"Are you sure about that?" 

"Don't act like you became Gordon Ramsay over night." 

The shocked gasp that followed earned them the attention of a couple students in the line. Normally this would have been enough to make Riyo want to turn invisible but for some reason their looks barely even registered with her. With an eye roll she started to walk into the direction Ahsoka had reported the others to sit, leaving the drama queen behind. 

Of course, though, she caught up quickly. Once she was besides the shorter girl Ahsoka grabbed the tray from Riyo's hands and before there was anything she could do, dumped it into the next trash can. Riyo looked at her incredulously, lips parted but her brain devoid of words. 

Ahsoka winked at her. 

"You can thank me later," she said and took Riyo's hand to pull her along through the crowd to their table. 

* * *

In retrospect that was probably the moment things went fuzzy because Riyo had no recollection of anything that happened at lunch after that. The only thing that remained of her break was that wink, the way Ahsoka's lips curved into that trademark smirk. The way her hand had wrapped around Riyo's so naturally, as if it was a motion they'd practised countless times before. 

It wouldn't be Riyo's first crush. She'd had her fair share of them before, there wasn't much you could do to avoid them if you'd lived up seventeen. Much less so if you had been attending a boarding school that enabled you to spend 24 hours a day with some of the most talented girls in the country for the majority of your teenage years. 

This was somehow bigger, however. Riyo cringed at herself but she couldn't deny that this wasn't her typical crushing behaviour. She'd never actually interacted with them like this. And they definitely hadn't flirted with her non-stop. Whatever was going on between, though, Riyo wasn't entirely opposed to it, either. 

Maybe that was why she had reluctantly agreed when Ahsoka popped the question. 

They'd been standing outside their classroom after math. Riyo also had no clue how she'd gotten there. She did recall the lesson, though, so it wasn't that she was actively repressing memories because she could have easily lived without that but here they were. 

"So, I remembered what I've been wanting to ask you all day." 

Riyo turned to face at that and abandoned her slightly defensive stance. Originally she'd wanted to get out of school as fast as possible to get a chance at having the house to herself. This seemed to require her unshared attention, however, and she was eager to give it. 

Apparently her approach hadn't been what Ahsoka had expected and Riyo used up all of her willpower to keep in a chuckle as the taller girl flinched. 

"Well, uh, there's a game on Saturday. Our game. The first of the season. So, um, kind of a big deal," she forced the sentence out in snippets. Riyo was enjoying herself grandly. She had never seen her new friend like this and it gave her a sense of satisfaction she rarely experienced. 

"It's not like the whole school's gonna be there, it's still soccer, not America's beloved football. But like, our families are coming, the hardcore sports nuts, friends. And uh, I wanted to ask if you would maybe, you know, come too?" 

Riyo wasn't sure but she could swear she saw the hint of a blush spreading on Ahsoka's cheeks. It was almost enough to make her forget about the alarms bells that went off in her head at the thought of visiting a sports event by herself. But before she had the chance to explain her concerns, Ahsoka rambled on. 

"You're not a fan of crowds, I've noticed. And I totally get it, Fives had a bad case of social anxiety when he was younger. There's gonna be other games with less people if you'd wanna pass this one up, the offer stands for any time really. I just thought maybe- oh god, that was really rude, wasn't it?"

At the mention of her dislike of cramped places Riyo's face had started to fall. The perfectionist in her resented people picking up on her flaws and although Ahsoka was soft spoken and her words without malicious intent it still made her stomach turn. The horror in her voice was enough to make Riyo risk a look at her friends face, though, and she didn't regret it. 

The teenager's face was that of a person who was questioning every decision that had led them to where they were. It was a look of panic mixed with regret and surprise. 

Yeah, she probably didn't expect this outcome either. 

"No, it's alright. It's just," Riyo sighed and threw all caution in the wind, "it's not really a topic I love addressing. And the people aren't the problem, if I'm honest, I'd love to come see you play. It's just that watching something by yourself is kind of a loner move." 

She attempted a wry smile. It seemed to take effect because Ahsoka gave her a weary one of her own. 

"Oh, but you wouldn't be. Padmé and Obi-Wan have been complaining about being bored at our games for ages. They're gonna be thrilled to have you for company."

Now it was Riyo's turn to be flustered and she looked down at her feet, a more genuine if still slightly embarrassed smile spreading on her lips. 

"Well, if that's so…"

There was a bit of a pause, again, not entirely awkward which made it all the more strange, until Ahsoka said:

"I've actually gotta get going, but, uh, I'll see you on Saturday, then?" 

"Yes, I suppose you will." 

Riyo raised her head and their eyes met one last time, just long enough for her to find she didn't want to look away again. But with a soft smile Ahsoka turned the other way and their paths split, leading her in the opposite direction. 

* * *

She was long home by the time her brain started to pick up its function again and the realisation that she was in deep shit hit her like a truck. Because she was used to crushes being oblivious to her feelings, sometimes even her existence. And although new to her, Riyo had been sure she'd learn to handle the flirting as well. The thing that had been bugging her was something else entirely and now that she was alone it seemed so perfectly obvious that she couldn't suppress the frustrated groan. Friends didn't get all flustered and stammered like that when they invited someone to a game. It was something Riyo would have done in her place. And for some reason, that made everything so, so much worse. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more gay shit for valentine's day. thank you again to everyone who's left kudos/commented so far, it really does make my day (cliché, im aware). and yes, this was very riyo/ahsoka centric but i promise the next chapter will heavily feature your favourite boys again. im making some minor changes to that storyline because i wasn't quite happy with it but it should be up soon. have a great day, and as always, thank you so much for reading! <3


	5. Joy Division

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy our boys being gay and rex overthinking

Their match proved to be rather eventful. 

Two fouls, one of which got a player of the other team sent off the field, the other leaving Ahsoka limping ever so slightly, four goals in total. Two of the four by Anakin, one of them by Rex himself who replaced Ahsoka in the second half of the game. It was with that scoring shot that Rex knew he was in trouble. 

He and Anakin had always been a great team from their first match on. Neither of them could really explain it but somehow, they just understood each other with ease, never many words between them. It made them a skilled and dangerous pairing on the field and allowed for the most comfortable friendship Rex had ever experienced off of it. They balanced each other out, in a way. Anakin was aggressive, impulsive, sometimes a bit too quick to strike and Rex focused, stuck to his tactics and tended to sometimes get too lost in them. There was every reason for them to clash and most everyone had expected them to, but as if they'd both just agreed to skip a stage they had settled into the vastness of their differences and turned them into harmony. 

When he scored Rex felt a sense of affirmation. He couldn't describe it any other way, he had calculated the risk and taken a shot he had been close to certain would stick and it did. The keeper had little chance of seeing him coming in the first place, the other team's defense was a hot mess with the competence of sixth graders, and Rex didn't even have to look to know he landed the ball in the net. 

Anakin, however, felt a tad more strongly about the goal. As closed off as Rex could seem, as outgoing was Anakin when it came to celebrating his teammates' triumphs (however small they may be). Shouting at the top of his lungs he practically body slammed the blond boy and Rex couldn't hide the smirk that settled on his face as he tried to shove the still cheering striker off him.

He felt a strong grip at the back of his neck and then Anakin's face was right in front his own, their foreheads pressed together, and suddenly the noise of their team cheering and the exhilarated cries of their friends from the sidelines bled away into garbled static. They were close enough for him to see the sweat run down the slightly taller boy's face, the stray hairs hanging down into his face, escaping the hairband that everyone taunted him about. Rex watched as his lips moved, forming words he guessed were congratulations but he couldn't hear them any more than the cheers. His ears were filled with the defeaning drumming of his own heartbeat. There was an urge as sudden as strong tearing through him.

Anakin had been his best friend ever since their first major win. Though they'd only known each other for a few weeks, that match had changed their dynamic and that same evening Rex had known deep within his heart that this boy was special. He had only learned through the years following that fateful day just how special Anakin really was and even now, at four years of friendship and counting, Rex knew that there was an ocean of things yet to uncover about him. But for a couple of weeks now, something had been different. It was subtle changes, so small and insignificant Rex had barely even noticed himself at first: his reluctance to join the team in the post-practice shower, ducking out of late night McDonald's meet ups under the guise of unfinished homework or leaving for class extra early after lunch to name a few. 

Lying in his bed one night, once again unable to fall asleep, Rex was hit with the horrifying realisation that all these situations had something common. Or rather, someone. 

And that someone was now inches away from him, hand on the back of Rex' neck in a way that made him realise just how sexually frustrated teenagers could be. But what was even worse than the conflict raging on in Rex long after Anakin had returned to his position was the fact that the other boy was utterly and blissfully unaware of Rex' feelings for him. 

* * *

"Could you just, like, not embarrass me one time? Just for once?" 

His little sister squeezed into the vacant seat next to Fives and pulled the door shut behind her before going back to sulking. The amused grin on Anakin's face probably didn't help much but he felt no remorse. As long as she bade such an easy target he would keep making fun of her for fruitless efforts to win over Riyo. 

"Hey, it's not my fault your new crush is so dense when it comes to flirting," he successfully ignored her point and watched Ahsoka go red with anger through the rear view mirror. 

"Yeah, I hate to interrupt your bickering," Rex interjected from the driver's seat, eyes responsibly glued to the road, "but if you start fighting again I won't hesitate to leave you both at the side of the road. And put on your seatbelt, I'm not losing my license because you're too busy pining over a girl to care for road safety."

Anakin was aware that his snickering only infuriated her more but to be frank, he didn't really care. She had it coming. Everyone knew he was the supposed to be the flirty member of their crew seeing as he was the one with the most sex appeal (though Padmé would argue otherwise) and that's just what you get for messing with the group dynamic. 

Riding shotgun came with responsibilities and Anakin snatched the aux cord from between the consoles to tend to his DJ duties. Jesse groaned from the backseat when he saw the striker's hand reach for it but stayed quiet otherwise. 

"You better not put on your trash playlist again, Skywalker," Rex warned but there was no real threat behind the words. 

Over time, Anakin had learned that Rex had two major weaknesses when it came to music. Firstly, he was an avid lover of everything considered 2000s jams, from The Killer's critically acclaimed "Mr. Brightside" to Britney's "Toxic", though he would never admit to the latter. Secondly, more importantly, he hated anything meme related to play in his car with a burning passion. Anakin was prone to using this to his advantage. 

Eyeing his friend from the side, Anakin carefully scrolled through his library and smirked when he found the perfect song. All that he needed to do now was wait. 

He leaned back as the first beats of "Let's Dance to Joy Division" began playing and watched for signs of recognition on Rex' face: furrowing his brow, narrowing his eyes ever so slightly that it was barely visible to anyone who didn't know him as well as Anakin did. The little crease in his forehead that went along with either of those. Or the small tremor in his bottom lip whenever he didn't agree with something that was happening but decided against speaking up like the model student he was. 

Sometimes Anakin wondered why Rex even put up with him. It wasn't that he felt inadequate as a friend, he just knew he wasn't what anyone would consider a good influence. Before the two of them had become as much of an item as they were now, Rex had had a perfect record. He hadn't been overly popular but well respected, not a straight A student but intelligent and hard-working enough to impress his teachers on more than one occasion, not to mention his spotless attendence and behaviour in and outside the classroom. He followed rules, didn't talk back, was respectful and disciplined, never missed assignments. 

And then there was Anakin. A smartass with a strong moral code but non-existent work ethic. The result were a couple of head on collisions with teachers and students alike, most of which didn't turn out in his favour. Yet, for virtually no reason at all, Rex took a liking to his self-destructive person. Even more surprisingly, Anakin didn't object. People had always tried to befriend him in the past but except for Ahsoka, no one had really managed to get to him. But there was something about Rex that just felt familiar, that felt right, and so Anakin did something then he hadn't done in years: he opened up to him. 

It was bits and pieces, never unraveling whole chapters of his life and Rex didn't push him to, either. With every part of his past that lay open between them, Anakin felt less heavy. It wasn't easy to get himself to break the silence but with each time he did it was as if he removed a brick from the wall he had built around his heart all those years ago. 

"I knew you had good songs on that phone." 

A hint of a smile appeared on the blond boy's lips and Anakin couldn't help but grin. 

"I knew you'd appreciate a peppy love song." 

He didn't take his eyes off the road for a second but he didn't have to for Anakin to see his cheeks go red. 

Ahsoka muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "Why's everybody getting it on but me" and he elected to ignore his sister. 

For now. 

* * *

Half an hour later they were all crammed into a booth at what was probably Coruscant's dirtiest and oldest McDonald's. The air was heavy with the smell of frying fat and burnt meat and there was a constant chatter that filled the room. It was heaven. 

Or at least it would be once their could actually eat and weren't stuck waiting next to a ridiculously loud family of five who apparently insisted that all their offspring accompany them to the front. It was beyond Rex why anyone would do that but then again, he had no real experience with children. He barely got on with little Boba as it was. 

"Have you noticed," Ahsoka began her question though Rex could already tell from her tone it was one of the rhetorical kind, "that nine out of ten times it's us who have to play the dummies and get the food?" 

Rex shrugged. Although she was right, he didn't see the point in trying to change the status quo. It had always worked this way and somehow altering the procedure seemed almost as if they were compromising their ritual. 

"I just think it's funny how-" 

A very tired looking twenty-something McDonald's employee called out the same number for the third time and Rex felt kind of sorry for him. He didn't feel sorry for blocking out his friend's rant though. There was a lot on his mind already and he didn't need to add whatever it was Ahsoka's passionate monologue was about to the list. 

Sheepishly he gazed back at their table and regretted it instantly when he found Anakin was looking at him. There was a look on his face that Rex couldn't decipher. It wasn't entirely blank although most people might have interpreted it that way. Rex knew better. Anakin was almost always thinking about something rather than nothing, and his jaw clenching just enough for the muscles to show gave him away every time, as it did now. 

For a moment they were just looking right at each other, time slowing to a stop as Rex tried and failed to read the other boy's thoughts. Then, as suddenly as it had come, the moment passed and Anakin's lips assumed the typical Skywalker smirk. 

"... would that be too much asked? Hello, earth to Rex." 

At the mention of his name the boy in question blinked and realised their order had been called. Ahsoka was already balancing two trays of food and nodded her head at the one beside her, holding their drinks and ice cream. 

"A little help?"

He muttered an apology and grabbed the last tray. Following his friend to their table Rex couldn't shake this weird feeling in the pit of his stomach. There had been something in that expression on Anakin's face that etched it into his mind. It didn't show on his face again as they sat and ate and neither did it until he dropped the siblings off at home. And yet, Rex couldn't get himself to stop thinking about it. 

In his bed, as he was about to drift asleep, a whisper in his mind put the sensation he had felt into words. 

_What if he knows?_


	6. A Cross to Bear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome back, all aboard the angst train! 
> 
> In the wake of Padmé's grandfather dying she supplied the group with the following text
> 
> "His death was a merciful one. He believed it not to be the end, but a start of a new chapter instead. Unlike many, I had the privilege of saying goodbye. It is something I value greatly for I know it is by no means something that is given. Tell those close to you how you feel for them. Make up. Let go. Of anger and of fear."

_Let go. Of anger and of fear._

Anakin had been staring at these two sentences for what felt like ages. He had never met Padmé grandfather but he knew they'd been somewhat close before his condition took a toll on him. After the Alzheimer's had kicked in she had stopped seeing him altogether. The pain of not being recognized by a man she had once meant the world to was more pain than she could bear. Padmé had told him all this one night when they were camping, long after the others had fallen asleep. They had been watching the stars and her voice was quiet but steady when she talked about her granddad, so unlike Anakin's when he tried to talk about his mother. 

A part of him couldn't shake the feeling that this last part of her message had been aimed at him. That it was her way of looking out for him even when she couldn't be there physically. She was, after all, one of his closest friends and had fought to be the one who Anakin revealed his worst sides to. It pained him to know she was hurting and there was nothing he could do to make it better, not even a way to see her and just hold her and let her cry. But he understood that she chose to do this for her grandfather, and it was a choice he had nothing but the utmost respect for. 

They had been fifteen when the topic of his parents first arose in their group. It was not a good for Anakin. He spent the following days alone, avoiding Obi-Wan, Padmé and Rex at school, barely interacting with Ahsoka when they were home. It was the period right before they adopted Artoo from a shelter and Anakin's depression and anger management issues had reached their peak. He hated everything about that time, but mostly himself. 

No one spoke of it again and the topic of his past was placed on the shelf of matters not to touch upon along with Ahsoka's crippling fear of failure and the death of Obi-Wan's older brother, Qui-Gon. That was until one night at a party, Anakin was sitting outside in Padmé's backyard by himself. He actually only wanted away from the noise and maybe even sober up a little when Padmé joined him. She had said something about Obi-Wan hooking up with Satine Kryze, another girl from Student Council as far as he knew, and Anakin had only shrugged. There was a pause and Padmé asked what was wrong. Not wanting to lie to her Anakin stayed silent at first but then, he would later blame it on the alcohol, he started to open up. 

He had always thought it would be like the movies, that as soon as he started the words would just come pouring out, but real life just wasn't like that. 

He told her he had been thinking about his mother and that he missed her. His voice was raspy, his throat tight as he said the word "mom" and he felt like every word that came out of his mouth left him choking. But Padmé just sat with him, head leaned against his shoulder and stayed silent while Anakin pressed on, word for painstaking word. And so he told her about his mother's struggle with addiction, his introduction to social services and the years of foster care that followed the extraction from his home. He told her how he always refused to refer to the people who took him in as his parents, no matter how genuinely caring they were. He admitted to the shame he felt looking back and explained that he just felt it was wrong because he already had a mother. That for years he firmly believed one day she would come to claim him and they would go back to the way things were. 

Tears running down his face Anakin recounted how held on to that thought until he was twelve years old, when one day a woman from the foster system showed up at the house he lived in at that time. That right away he knew she wasn't there to take him away like they had done countless times before. He told Padmé how she had sat him down and described the wooden clock he had stared while the woman told him police had found his mom. That she had passed away. 

At this point he had stopped crying. His mouth was dry, his voice barely more than a squeak and although it hurt, he felt he needed to finish. 

But the words wouldn't come out. He still wanted, needed to tell her that this was the reason he couldn't accept the Tano's gracious offer of adopting him although he knew it would have meant the world to them. That he felt he was betraying his mother, forsaking everything he still had left of her by leaving behind the name of 'Skywalker'. That he wished, with every fiber of his being, that he could have said goodbye. 

That all he ever wanted was to say goodbye. 

He tried and he choked and then Padmé was suddenly in front of him and pulled him into a hug unlike any he had received before. She held him while he sobbed, ran a hand through his hair and whispered soothing words he couldn't make out. Anakin remembered exactly how he had felt in that moment, the way he had buried his face in the fabric of her sweater, how his hands had tugged it as if he was scared that when he let go, she would disappear. 

There they were again, those two feisty little words. 

_Let go._

Anakin had been told to 'let go' on numerous occasions but it had never actually gotten through to him until now. And reading that message over and over he realised that letting go was more than forgetting.

_Let go. Of anger and of fear._

Obi-Wan had once told him that mourning was not something to ashamed of or to suppress.

' _To mourn was to honour the person you had lost and everything they meant to you_ ', he had said. That in order to keep them alive, you had to live. And one could not live if they dwelled on the past too much. 

In a way, Anakin guessed, he and Padmé were saying the same thing. He was allowed to miss his mother, to mourn her loss and feel all the things he felt. But it shouldn't keep him from living and enjoying his life. 

He ran a hand over his face. Maybe Ahsoka and Padmé were right after all. All of this screamed for him to see a therapist. And it wasn't that he was short of opportunities, the Tano's had sent Ahsoka to see one months ago and had made the reoccurring offer to Anakin as well, never pressuring him and always without judgement. He had mentioned it once to Rex when they were riding their bikes home after a night out, stating how it was almost concerning to him. The blonde boy had chuckled then and given him a sympathetic smile that made Anakin's stomach twist. 

"You really don't get it, do you?" Rex had asked. 

"You're their son. They love you, dude. It's their job to look after you now." 

Cursing under his breath, Anakin threw himself on his bed and wriggled his phone out of his pocket. He pulled a contact and started typing. When he hesitated his friends' words echoed in his mind. 

_Let go._

_In order to keep them alive, you have to live._

_They love you._

Anakin groaned in frustration but hit sent anyway and then threw his phone away. It went flying over the edge of his bed and hit floor, sending Anakin scrambling up and rushing over to it in a hurry. The screen was alright, thank God, and he hit his punching bag once, twice, three times.

Unlocking his phone once more he looked up the current theatre listings. A grin spread on his face when he found what he was looking for and he sent another message before storming out of his room to find his sister. 


	7. Can We Kiss Forever? pt.1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rex can't remember why he is even friends with these idiots in the first place.

"We're not doing this."

"Don't be a spoil sport, Rex, this'll be fun." 

"It's childish and quite frankly I'm not up to have my humiliation recorded for the entire world to see."

"Rex, I'm sure that if it really came down to it we could easily overpower Ahsoka and trash her phone. It's not like she could run away with a sprained ankle." 

"Touch my phone and you're a dead man, Skywalker."

"Okay, guys, how about we all calm down and just get it over with? Some of us have a curfew."

It was Riyo who had assumed the role of the voice of reason in the backseat. Rex gave a huff that indicated not exactly agreement but he had been friends with both Ahsoka and Anakin long enough to know that once they'd set their minds to something, they wouldn't budge.

As Ahsoka handed Anakin her phone from the back so he could set it up on the dashboard Rex tried to recall how he could have possibly ended up here. 

* * *

Originally they'd wanted to go see a movie, some action-packed horror flick with horrible dialogues and flat characters that they could make fun of for a full 90 minutes while still enjoying each other's company. 

With Padmé still unavailable during her family's mourning and it being a film Obi-Wan had little interest in, the two were out of the picture. Although his brothers probably would have enjoyed the film as well, they'd stayed behind looking after Boba. Or at least that's what Rex pretended their reason was. Fives had made a remark that gave Rex the feeling he knew there was something going on with them. He had been determined not to let anything slip but Fives had always been sensitive to his brother's moods. He picked up on things before Rex even knew himself at times. 

When he'd told him and Jesse he was seeing a movie with Anakin, Ahsoka and Riyo, his brother had mockingly called it a 'double-date' and promptly earned a playful punch in the gut. Fives had just chuckled, holding little Boba in his arms. Jesse had wished him a good night and gone upstairs but Fives had stayed behind.

'He's just being a douche, although there's some truth in his words, isn't there?' 

'It's pretty obvious I think, yeah. I give them two weeks, max. Knowing Ahsoka poor Riyo probably won't stand a chance.'

The look that Fives had given him was piercing and Rex turned towards the door, suddenly uncomfortable. He waited for a second but whatever it was that his brother was thinking, he kept it to himself. 

'Tell mom I'll be home before midnight when she comes back. See you tomorrow.'

When he got to his car Rex had to take a second. He looked back up to their front door where he had left Fives. He hadn't been talking about Ahsoka's latest love interest. And Rex knew it. 

Shaking his head he got into his car to pick up the rest of the gang, barring the thought to the back of his mind.

* * *

During his little flashback Anakin had positioned the phone in a delicate balance between tilting back too far back to record all four of them and too far to the front so it dipped over. He opened the tiktok app on his sister's phone and Rex felt the tread of his impending doom weigh down on him. 

"Once again for the clueless, how does this work?" Riyo asked sheepishly and Rex silently thanked her for it. He wasn't exactly as lost as Riyo when it came to memes and Internet trends but he definitely didn't follow the abundence of them as closely as their friends did. 

Leaning closer to her Ahsoka began to explain the intricacies of the challenge, speaking slowly as if she was trying to teach a toddler how to do a mundane task. 

"We're gonna play this song, I could tell you the name but it's not important. While it's playing we're taking turns passing on 'It', kinda like playing tag only no one moves and we're just pointing fingers. Anakin will start, he points his finger at Rex, Rex at you, you will point at me and I'll give it back to Anakin. Now, you'll want to be fast but not too fast. Just don't let it linger because the song will stop at the beat drop and if you're the last person pointed at when it does, you're gonna have to call your crush."

"Wait, in front of everyone?" 

The smug grin was audible in Anakin's voice when he said: "Yes, in front of us and a running camera." 

Riyo's desperate expression and sigh resonated with Rex. He wasn't exactly the biggest fan of this whole operation either but there was no going back now. 

In the back Ahsoka patted Riyo's leg and through the rear-view Rex saw her turn a shade of pink that almost matched her lavender hair. Yeah, if it ended up being her it wouldn't be much of a surprise to anyone who she would call. 

"So we're a go?" 

Ahsoka gave an excited thumbs up, Riyo forced herself to crack a not very convincing smile and Rex sighed. 

"Let's get it over with, General." 

The other boy smirked at the nickname. It was one of the few good memories they had from the first year of middle school right after the Tano/Skywalker siblings had moved to Coruscant. They had been in the same gym class and during one particularily annoying lesson Anakin had been tasked with leading their group. He had made fun of Rex for executing the teacher's instructions so carefully and kept calling him a good soldier to which he had replied what that made him. Not without a chunk of pride in his voice Anakin had answered that they could call him 'General'. 

With a wink that caused Rex to roll his eyes at his flirtatious friend, Anakin started the music and held his finger out in Rex's direction. He did his part, mechanically moving but he wasn't going to feign joy over this, and passed the sign on to Riyo. His pulse quickened and Rex cursed himself out for it. Was he seriously getting agitated over this silly game? 

A second round, then another and another went around the car. While Riyo looked about ready to pass out, Ahsoka and Anakin were all focus. God, they annoyed him sometimes. 

And in that moment the song abruptly cut off. For a moment Rex didn't know what was happening and then his head slowly cleared and he saw Anakin's outstretched hand in front of his face. 

_Well, fuck._


	8. Can We Kiss Forever pt.2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> life's crazy rn so sorry for irregularities, but here's part two. alternative title: what's better than this, just guys being dudes

"You know the rules, Soldier, get ya phone out." 

Anakin had broken the tense silence but Rex's face was still set in stone. It was a look Anakin was well used to by how, having seen it a thousand times before. It was his face of careful consideration. Before a big game, before tests, before their driving exam, anything that would influence his future in any way would cause this face, mirroring his inner agitation. 

He could tell that every fiber of Rex's being was straining against his actions as he reluctantly reached into his pocket. He pulled out his phone, unlocked it with the multiple digit code no one had ever been able to figure out. With two swipes he had opened his phone book and out of respect for one of his longest friends, Anakin averted his gaze. When nothing happened, he looked back at Rex. 

The other boy was still staring at his lit screen. There was something else in his eyes that Anakin didn't recognise. It wasn't anything he liked to see, though, that much was for sure. 

"Come on, dude, just get it over with. Maybe they won't even pick up and then no one's the wiser," said Ahsoka from the backseat. 

"This is a really bad idea, guys, I'm telling you."

Anakin exchanged a quick look with his sister who seemed just as torn as he was. He could tell Rex was serious and he hated seeing him like that but his curiosity had been awakened and there was no going back now. Ahsoka pulled a rather unhelpful face and Riyo just appeared to have dissociated completely. So he sighed and put a hand on Rex's shoulder. 

"You gonna be okay, man?" 

"You're going to regret this, but rules are rules." 

Without raising his head, he pressed his thumb on the screen and the sound of a keypad dialing filled the otherwise quiet car. 

When Anakin felt his phone vibrate in his pocket he first thought it was a very weird but funny coincidence. When it didn't cease to vibrate, though, and whoever Rex was calling didn't pick up, his heart dropped to his gut. His gaze fixated on the dashboard in front of him, Anakin pulled out his phone. 

The name showing in the screen was three bold, white letters against a dark photograph. It was one of the few Anakin had actually set for contacts. The picture had been taken on one of the happiest days of his life. It had been the first victory they'd brought home with their team, a couple weeks after he and Ahsoka had moved in with the Tano's. It had been raining cats and dogs for days when they'd set out for their match and the field had been merely more than a mud bath but against all odds they'd beaten the other, far more experienced team with a close 2-1. They had all been drenched to the bone, covered in mud up to their thighs and the occasional streak of it in their faces but none of them cared. He still remembered his throat getting soar from screaming so much, the way the rain had hit his face while they were jumping around in a giant circle. He remembered the beaming faces of the Tano's as they hugged him, not caring about getting wet or dirty as if it was the most natural thing to do. 

The picture had been taken moments after that, just Anakin and Rex standing arm in arm, wet hair sticking to their heads but grins wider than the Grand Canyon. 

Anakin remembered the party they'd thrown in the evening, the hot sensation of the alcohol and the way they'd danced, not giving a single fuck how stupid they looked.

And he remembered walking home, coming up to his house and saying goodbye to his friends. Ahsoka leaving for bed, Fives and Hardcase already trailing off, leaving only him and Rex standing in front of the door. He remembered the hug that Rex had pulled him in, the firm grip of his hand on the back on his neck. The rasp in his voice as he whispered 

' _Brothers in arms are brothers for life.'_

"Dude, why are you calling me?" 

It took Anakin a moment to realise he had spoken. His voice didn't sound like his own. Nothing felt real and he had to force himself to drag his eyes away from the screen in his lap. 

He didn't notice the gasp Riyo let out when he uttered those words nor did he register Ahsoka shushing her. Anakin was focused on the frozen boy next to him, his face emotionless as he kept staring straight ahead. 

"Rex."

"I'm gay." 

Under different circumstances Anakin would have been spewing questions already. _Why the hell did you never think to tell me? How long have you known? Who do you think is hotter, me or Obi-Wan?_

But right now, his head was empty. 

Rex was gay. 

His best friend, Rex, was gay. Rex, who had been there for him since day 1. Rex, who had introduced him to soccer. Who had made sure he stayed in school even on the days Anakin felt like running away. Who had always made him feel valid for wanting to do that but talked sense into him nonetheless. 

Rex, who had pulled him off that one douché bag that had called his mother a bitch and talked to Coach Yoda to convince him to let Anakin stay on the team. Who slept only in boxers because 'he got too hot' and could only fall asleep on his stomach. Who always wore his hair on 3mm length because he was scared to embarrass himself with a bad haircut. Who had the lightest freckles Anakin had ever seen. 

Rex, his uptight, rule-loving, overly correct friend was not only gay, but had called him. He had called him when he was instructed to call his crush. And he had called Anakin. 

The thought process was a long one but in the end, he managed to put the pieces together. 

"You're… gay?" 

Goddamnit, Anakin, you fucking imbecile. 

Rex winced but to everyone's relief his shoulders seemed to relax when he spoke this time around. 

"Yeah. Gay, homosexual, queer. Whatever floats your boat." 

"Dude, what the hell, me too!" 

Rex barely had time to jerk his head up before Anakin grabbed his face with both hands pulled him into a clumsy and probably too hard kiss. It wasn't perfect by a long shot, he felt their teeth collide and was pretty sure he nicked his lip but it didn't matter.

"God, you guys are disgusting."

"Ahsoka!" 

But Anakin just shrugged his sisters comment off with a smirk and leaned in to kiss Rex again. It was already an improvement, he had to admit. It was softer this time, not as rushed and he felt the blond guy's hand brush through his as their lips moved against each other. He smiled against Rex's lips and deepened the kiss. 

Life didn't really get much better than this. 


	9. Two for the Price of One

"Have you seen Artoo? We still gotta get him over to mom's and I swear that he  _ knows _ and is hiding on purpose."

Anakin uttered little more than a chuckle and didn't even bother looking up from the fridge as he went over the assortment of beverages they'd accumulated. Seemingly satisfied with the ratio of alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks he nodded. 

"Did you look in the bathroom? You know he thinks he's invisible when he's in the bathtub."

"Oh, no, I would've never thought of that. It's only the number one most obvious hiding spot for that animal," she replied, staring at the back of her brother's head with a look that could have pierced his skull. Her voice was practically dripping with sarcasm and Anakin sighed, closing the fridge door. 

"Well, he's here somewhere. Bedrooms?" 

The sternly looking teen shook her head in both a conformation that she'd checked the room and negatition of the dog's presence. 

"Behind the couch? His little house in the yard? The attic?" 

No, no and an eyeroll. 

"Your bed?" 

She opened her mouth to protest but Anakin gave her a look that let her know she needn't bother. When they'd moved in on their own after Anakin's 18th birthday they had come to the agreement that Artoo was to stay disciplined even outside their parents home. He was allowed on the couch upon asking and even had his own blankets in both their rooms. The only space that was taboo for him were their beds. At least that's what it was supposed to be like.

"I'll go check," she grumbled and lowered her head as to not to lose her last ounce of dignity to her Anakin's smug expression. 

  
  


Of course the labrador mix had been hiding under blanket all along and when Ahsoka pulled back the covers he gave her a guilty but excited look. Sometimes she just couldn't fathom why dogs loved their humans so much that no matter the circumstances, they were always and without fail happy to see them. 

"Oh boy, you really got me this time."

She plopped down next to him and scratched him behind his ear. Artoo pushed himself forward with his hind legs, head onto her lap and closed his eyes. 

For a moment Ahsoka forgot everything around them and why she'd even been looking for him in the first place. But their little moment was cut short by a car door slamming shut in the driveway and Artoo was already up, barrelling towards the window. 

He got his front paws up on the window sill so he could take a peek at the vehicle parked in front of the house, his ears perked up in alarm and his gaze was searching for The Intruder. Apparently he was satisfied with who he saw because he pushed himself off, going full on rocket and was down the hall, barking, in a matter of seconds. 

Shaking her head in amusement Ahsoka left the room to go after him. 

"Anakin!", she yelled as she strode through the kitchen towards the back door which, of course, was wide open like Anakin had promised to not leave it so Artoo wouldn't get out. By the time she stepped out into the backyard and rounded the corner to the driveway she saw her brother and Rex crouched around the labrador-beagle mix. In a weak attempt at getting the dog buzzing with excitement to calm down both boys were petting him and poorly avoiding his tongue that aimed to slobber their faces. Ahsoka scrunched up her nose in disgust. 

"If you would close the back door for a change maybe you could have been the one kissing Rex now." 

She leaned her shoulder against the wall of the house and crossed her arms in front her chest. When Anakin shot her a glare that promised a merciless death she cocked an eyebrow in return, knowing full well he was making empty threats. It didn't really help either that Artoo had reached his demanded count of pets from Rex and now decided he needed to be more confrontational in regards to Anakin. Without a warning he jumped onto him, promptly causing Anakin to lose balance and topple over backwards. 

Between his fits of laughter Rex managed to help a rather annoyed Anakin back on his feet and Ahsoka quickly exited the scene, patting her thigh to mention to Artoo to follow her. Thankfully he seemed to be in a good mood and did as told. She loved her brother but Ahsoka also knew that sometimes it was better to just leave him to cool off when he got worked up and she definitely had been walking the line there. 

With Artoo at her heel she stepped out on the side walk and grabbed onto his collar as a car passed by slowly, coming to a stop two houses down the road. They had almost made it to her parents front yard when a head of soft lavender exited the car. For a second, Ahsoka hesitated. Should she call out for her and possibly drag Riyo into an awkward encounter with her mom or let her run right into Anakin and Rex making out, definitely scarring her for life? 

"Ahsoka!" Riyo greeted her with a bright smile and wave and thus took the decision from her. Waving back she walked a couple of steps towards the other girl. At knee height, Artoo was eager to greet the stranger as well, wagging his tail in excitement. 

When she saw him Riyo's smile grew even bigger to Ahsoka's astonishment. It had been rather large to begin with. After receiving reassurance that he was indeed a very friendly dog, she crouched down in front of him and began to pet the elated labrador. 

"He's even cuter than in the photos!" she exclaimed when she finally got up to hug Ahsoka. 

"Yeah, he's quite alright."

"Sorry, I just really love dogs. Before I went to Pantora I would bug my mom about getting one for weeks on end." 

"Oh, feel free to borrow him any time. He would go with everyone that offers treats and belly rubs."

Riyo laughed at that and Ahsoka lost herself in the way she lowered her head and closed her eyes when she did, how she bit her lip ever so lightly as if to remind herself not to show too many emotions. She watched a strand of hair fall in the shorter girls face and was grabbed onto Artoo's collar to stop herself from reaching out and tucking it back behind her ear.

"Excuse me, miss, are you going to deliver that dog or shall I just get it myself?" 

Ahsoka flinched at the sound of her mother's voice jerking her out of her little trance. How long had she been standing on her porch?  _ Oh god, I hope she didn't see-  _

Artoo tugged on his collar, alerted by Mrs. Tano's voice and suddenly very discontent with his current position outside her fence. So Ahsoka obliged, letting go of his collar and taking the few steps toward the gate to open it and let him in. As he ran at his part owner, Ahsoka turned around to fill in her puzzled crush. Friend. Ah, whatever. 

"That weird woman over there is my mom, she's taking Artoo for the night so he doesn't end up eating anything he's not supposed to. She tends to be nosy and overprotective but I promise, she's harmless."

While Riyo mustered a half hearted nod, Mrs. Tano finished scratching Artoo's ears and sent him chasing after a tennis ball she had picked up off the porch. Once the dog had disappeared around the corner, running off into the garden behind the house, Ahsoka saw her make her towards them. She closed her eyes and sent a prayer to whatever God would have her.

"Who's your friend, 'Soka?" her mother asked, but it was a rhetorical question as she was already extending a hand to Riyo, "I'm Ahsoka's mother but call me Mira, please, I was never a fan of that whole' Mrs.' business."

In a swift motion that almost perfectly masked how overwhelmed she actually was, Riyo brought her hand forward and shook Mira's. 

"Riyo Chuchi, it's a pleasure to meet you."

"Oh, you're Riyo! I've heard so much about you, it's nice to finally meet you. Do you girls want to come inside?" 

Ahsoka, already mortified enough at her mother's forthright honesty about their conversation topics, grabbed Riyo by the shoulders and pushed her toward the neighbouring house's driveway. 

"That's real sweet, mom, but we actually  _ really _ need to get going, we promised Anakin to help set up some stuff for tonight and you know how he gets."

She could tell by the lifted brow that her mother knew exactly Ahsoka was lying but she didn't have the privilege of caring, she already was trying to contain the damage.  _ This _ was why you didn't tell mother's about conflicting feelings for friends, she thought to herself. 

"Your mom seems…" 

"Overbearing?" Ahsoka offered. 

Riyo wound herself out of her grip and turned her head to look at her agitated friend. 

"Like she cares a lot." 

There was something in her voice that sounded almost accusatory but Ahsoka let it slip when they turned the corner and caught sight of Anakin and Rex jumping apart like they'd just been hit by lightning. 

"We weren't-"

"It's not what-" 

"Amazing, two awkward encounters for the price of one," Ahsoka muttered under her breath and dragged a speechless Riyo into the house behind her. 

* * *

The next few hours were spent in hard work preparing the lower floor to withstand twenty-something partying teens. They set up a ping pong table in the backyard and crossed their fingers the weather wouldn't ruin their plans of moving part of the guests outside. By the time they were done the first wave of people arrived. To no one's surprise Obi-Wan was the first to set foot in the house, a tall blonde at his arm. Ahsoka recognised her as one of the Student Council members but couldn't recall her name. While he and Rex were laughing about something Ahsoka leaned over to Anakin.

"Is this the girl?" she whispered. 

He answered with an urgent nod and she gave a knowing one of her own before turning to Riyo who was buzzing to be included in their secrecy. Leaning in once more, Ahsoka did her best to condense the story between the two in as much as possible without missing out on important details. 

"Love-hate-relationship, they're perfect for each other but too proud to admit they have feelings. Basically sexual tension through the roof."

They spent another hour in this manner, greeting friends and acquaintances from soccer, Student Council and programs that Obi-Wan was somehow involved in. He had explained about ten times but frankly, Ahsoka hadn't cared enough to listen to the mechanics of it. 

At eight the life of the party, Padmé Amidala herself, finally arrived. She had barely crossed the doorstep when Anakin yelled out her name and darted over to wrap his arms around her, lifting her up. Ahsoka winced, knowing that his bear hugs did have a tendency to crack a rib, but the the sound of her friend's perfect pitch laughter let her worries melt away. They all huddled around the two when Anakin set her down and took turns hugging the friend they had dearly missed. 

Once Padmé had completed the 'circle of love' she lifted her hands up to her shoulders like a conductor.

"Alright, now I know you're all bursting to tell me how sorry you are for my loss and while I appreciate your sympathy, I have just spent the past seven days following a rather orthodox Jewish ritual and quite frankly, I'm through with mourning for the moment. As you may be able to tell by my make-up game and forward choice of dress," she mentioned to her, admittedly, rather revealing and tight black dress and jealousy inducing winged eyeliner, "I am here because I was promised a party."

"You heard the Queen," Obi-Wan said into the room. 

As if on cue, Anakin threw his arm up in the air. 

"Let's fucking party, people!" 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's a weird time to be alive, people. hope you're all staying safe and healthy. this chapter's somewhat cringe, i am aware, but bear with me. rest is probably coming up this weekend to sweeten quarantine, hope you enjoyed this tidbit already tho ^^


	10. Drunk in Love pt.1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the most fanfic thing i have ever written. hope you enjoy

The twenty-something people of course turned into a sea of fifty-plus. They should have expected it but Ahsoka was surprised nonetheless as she waded through a group of dancing, tipsy students in the living room. Someone stumbled into her and would have sent her toppling over if she hadn't caught herself. Miraculously even without dropping the handful of empty bottles she clutched to her chest. 

She made it to the kitchen and found herself face to face with a concerned Riyo, arranging another dozen bottles on the back of the counter. 

"Where did you find those?" she asked when she saw Ahsoka walking towards her. 

"Uh, over by the couch. There's like five more outside I saw." 

"I swear I was just over there. How do they _do_ that?" 

She was about to explain the concept of underage drinking when an drunk Jesse rushed past them. There was an audible slam of a door followed by the unmistakable sound of someone retching violently. 

The girls shared a distraught look. 

"You know what, we're sixteen. Seventeen, my bad," Ahsoka corrected herself when Riyo arched an eyebrow at the slight mathematical mistake. "The point is, why are we cleaning up? This should be a problem for future us."

Scanning the room Ahsoka found a fitting target and grabbed a bottle. She filled two cups with soft drinks and added what she deemed to be a reasonable amount of vodka. Satisfied with her creation she handed one of the drinks to Riyo who took it after a second of hesitation. 

"It's cool if you're not down, no pressure, yeah?" 

"Oh, it's not my first time. There's parties at boarding schools, too. I just tend to, well-" she pulled a face and looked down at the drink, "drunk me is a _state_."

Well, there's something Ahsoka hadn't seen coming. 

"Damn, Chuchi, didn't have you pegged for the type," she mocked her friend and gave her an approving look. 

"There's a lot you don't know about me, sweetheart," the shorter girl replied and sipped on her drink before turning away and leaving Ahsoka a blushing mess. She certainly didn't not expect _that_ either. 

* * *

If she was honest Riyo had no idea where that just come from. _Sweetheart._ Jesus, what was she, a 1950s American white guy?

Fighting her way through the crammed living room she followed the sound of Padmé's voice and found her in the hall at the bottom of the staircase, surrounded by a bunch of girls she didn't know. Ahsoka bumped into her as she squeezed past two not so sober guys and apologised but Riyo waved it off and leaned back against her. 

"Who are these girls?" 

"No idea, they're from this camp thing she and Bail went to. Or at least I think that's them." 

Riyo shrugged and decided to move on as not to disrupt the conversation but just as she turned to make her way outside, she heard Padmé call out her name. 

"Riyo, Ahsoka! I was just about to go look for you, there's something _really_ important I need to tell you guys," she exclaimed and sprang to her feet. Judging by the assortment of bottles she left behind she had surpassed the state of sobriety some time ago, too, but it didn't show one bit. Riyo would never not be in awe of this girl, she thought as Padmé wrapped her arms around both her and Ahsoka's shoulders and urged them toward the back door. 

Although the hall was still filled with people and they had tripled the space they required by Padmé pulling them both along at her sides, they made it through the door smoothly and without hindrance. It seemed that no matter where or in what condition she was, people automatically went out of their way for Padmé. Then again, Riyo couldn't judge them. She wasn't an exception to that rule, either. 

Outside the air was still buzzing with laughter and conversation but it was a lot softer. Between them, Padmé took a deep breath and let go of the girls next to her.

"Don't tell them but there's no urgent matter. I just really can't stand those girls. I don't know why Bail invited them, I'm pretty sure the dislike is mutual," she started rambling and then looked around. When she saw the cup in Ahsoka's hand she gently plucked it from the younger girl's hand and took a sip. 

When Ahsoka protested Padmé handed it back but not without commenting on its contents. 

"That's disgusting, what is that? And don't give me that, you're a baby. You shouldn't even drink, it's irresponsible."

Ahsoka pouted and Riyo felt her heart clench. That should not be as adorable as it was. The alcohol probably didn't help. 

"It's vodka-coke. And she's drinking too!" she pointed at Riyo who gave an indignant gasp. 

"That's way too much vodka, honey, you're gonna be gone in no time," Padmé tutted and took the drink from Ahsoka's hands again before continuing, "and Riyo is like half a year older than you, which leaves you as our baby."

She reached up to pat the scolding girl's hair but pulled her hand back in shock. 

"You changed your hair! Oh my god, I didn't even notice, I'm a horrible friend."

While Padmé and Ahsoka were enveloped in their conversation about changing hairstyles as the end of an emotional era, Riyo, having had the same exact hair for two years, went to look for something more stimulating. A look down confirmed that her cup was empty and so the kitchen seemed like a suitable enough place to start that journey. 

The only problem with that plan was the girl who seemed to have claimed the kitchen as her own. Her head was shaved and from what Riyo could gather, her jaw was just as sharp as her cheekbones. She was highly attractive, no question, but there was something unsettling about her. Something that deeply intimidated Riyo. So, naturally, she tried to engage the girl in conversation. 

Keyword _tried_ , because though drunk Riyo certainly didn't lack confidence, she was by far not as eloquent as her sober counterpart. 

"Hey, are you, like, gonna finish that soon?" 

The stranger didn't even look up from the drink she was pouring and Riyo advanced further into the room. 

"I don't mean to pry but who are you? I'm kind of new at this school and I don't remember seeing you around to be honest."

When she didn't get an answer again, she stepped up to the counter and offered her hand. 

"I'm Riyo." 

Finally, the girl looked up but Riyo immediately wished she hadn't. Her eyes were a piercing, icy blue and cut through her like steel. 

"I'm not interest." 

With that the mystery girl took the two cups she'd prepared and disappeared into the crowd. 

* * *

"I just had _the weirdest_ encounter of my life." 

"Do tell but come closer because there's someone I 100% do not want to see coming our way," Ahsoka cut her off and then proceeded to crouch behind a very confused Riyo. 

She craned her head but couldn't identify anyone who seemed like a person of interest and turned to Anakin for guidance. The boy nudged his chin to his left and following the general direction of his movement, Riyo's gaze fell on a group of girls at the beer pong table. 

She recognized a handful of them as cheerleaders. 

"Who invited them?" she asked, somewhat confused and was confronted with a series of shrugs and shaking heads. 

"Well, it definitely wasn't me but at least _she_ had the decency to stay away," Ahsoka muttered from somewhere around Riyo's knees. 

Riyo swatted the high bun on the top of her friend's head and then pulled her up by her arm.

"You're not five years old, Ahsoka, you want to drink like a big girl, you gotta act like one."

Her words were met with another sulking expression and Riyo snapped her fingers in front of Ahsoka's face. 

"Hey! You can't just hide every time you see your ex or her friends. At some point you've got to suck it up and let it go or push back. So, what are you gonna do?" 

Obviously overwhelmed with the situation Ahsoka just stared at her, dumbfounded. Riyo could hear Anakin, Rex and Fives snicker in the background but Padmé shushed them, clearly invested in the drunken spectacle unfolding in front of them. 

Riyo raised her eyebrows in question and Ahsoka gulped, then straightened her shoulders. 

"Push back?" 

From behind her Anakin cheered but was silenced by a punch in the arm.

"Good. Now get over here and put your arm around my shoulders."

_What the fuck are you doing, Chuchi._

For a mortifying second Ahsoka stayed frozen in place but then lifted her cup, downing the rest of whatever had been in it and went to stand beside Riyo. Making sure they were clearly visible from where the group of cheerleaders was sitting, she gave her okay and Ahsoka reluctantly placed her left arm around Riyo's shoulders. 

"See, that's not so hard, now is it?" she teased but Ahsoka's mouth stayed shut. 

Conversation around them resumed and Riyo finished her third cup of the night. The sun had started to set and as it was slowly growing colder around them, Riyo cuddled into her friend's side even more. At some point, she and Padmé were engorged in a passionate debate about lowering the legal age of drinking (while Riyo was a firm believer in the European age limit of eighteen, Padmé argued anything _but_ twenty-one was a sufficient age), Riyo absentmindedly intertwined her fingers with Ahsoka's. She probably wouldn't have noticed at all if Fives hadn't called their attention to the cheerleaders sudden interest in them. Ahsoka's cheeks had taken on a subtle, darker tone but before she could pull her arm away, Riyo lightly squeezed her hand. 

"Do you wanna push back or quit, Tano?" 

And now Ahsoka seemed to finally relax. There was a hint of determination in her eyes as she nodded and then her trade mark smirk appeared on her face. 

"I've got an idea, actually," she prompted and leaned down to whisper in Riyo's ear. A part of Riyo was impressed by how quickly Ahsoka's demeanor had changed. An even bigger part of her was suddenly not too sure about his operation anymore when her friend suggested retiring to her bedroom. Of course not without stopping by the kitchen first for a refill to indulge in while they passed a few minutes talking before continuing their little show. 

_This entire thing was your idea, now finish what you started._

When Ahsoka pulled back Riyo turned to look at her and forced herself to smile through the deafening beat of her heart that was drumming in her ears.

"Lead the way."

Waving goodbye the pair turned to leave as Anakin and Fives whistled. Well, at least they for sure had the cheerleaders' attention _now_. 

There was a hazy period Riyo had difficulties recalling but she knew that a few minutes later she and Ahsoka ended up in her upstairs bedroom with the promised refill. While Ahsoka made sure the door was locked Riyo explored the room, taking occasional sips from the cheap beer in her cup. 

The walls above the desk was clattered with certificates from soccer matches, beneath them a small collection of trophies. 

Next to the bed in the corner was a small nightstand, crowned with a single photograph of Ahsoka, Anakin, her mother and a man Riyo didn't know but assumed to be Ahsoka's father. Even Artoo was in it, sitting between Anakin and Ahsoka. In that photo they looked like your average, picture perfect family.

"That was the day we got him from the shelter. Can you believe it? He was already so well trained but had been there for nearly two years before we picked him."

Riyo hadn't noticed the other girl step up behind her and was slightly startled at the sound of her voice. Ahsoka didn't seem to notice, however, and gave her a warm smile before letting herself fall onto the bed, stretching her arms above her head, causing her shirt to ride up. 

It wasn't so much that Riyo didn't want to look away but she felt she was physically unable to. On a logical level she had been aware that Ahsoka's toned bodyshape wasn't exclusive to her arms and legs but it was something utterly different to be confronted with the hard evidence. And so she found herself staring at her friend's perfect abs in front of her and realised 'friend' had definitely just become a misnomer. 

"Something wrong?" 

Riyo's eyes shot up but she averted them on second thought because fuck, staring at those perfect blue eyes and tiny freckles wasn't much help either. 

"Bathroom's down the hall, just saying," Ahsoka continued, eyebrows furrowed in concern. 

"No, I'm fine, don't worry," Riyo assured, well aware it was a weak lie that the other girl would see right through and of course she did. 

Sitting up now Ahsoka scooted over to the edge of the bed and patted the mattress next to her, urging Riyo to take a seat as she begrudgingly did. 

"Come on, what's wrong?" 

_Oh, other than the fact I'm head over heels in love with you not much, actually._

"Probably just hormones, it's really nothing, Ahsoka."

She felt the other girl's eyes linger on her face for a moment and prayed she would let it go. 

Getting drunk had been a mistake, Riyo knew that, because drunk her had the inhibitions of her thirteen year old self and those were pretty much nonexistent. And she also knew, well, strongly assumed, that Ahsoka returned these confusing feelings Riyo harboured. But she also knew that if something were to happen between them, there was a very real chance that it would suffocate Riyo. The past had proven this to be the case with every major relationship in her life. Every close friendship she had ever had ended in her running away. She didn't want to imagine what would happen in the case of a romantic endeavour. Especially not when the person involved was someone she cared about as deeply as was the case with Ahsoka. 

But, since life sometimes insisted on being a shitty rom-com, Ahsoka pressed on. 

"There's something you're not telling me, Chuchi. And I'm gonna find out before this night is over."

"Well, in that case you better hurry because," she snatched the phone that had slipped from Ahsoka's pocket when she had sat up and checked the time, "technically speaking that leaves you with nine minutes to go."

Ahsoka rolled her eyes and tried to take her phone back but in a rash, alcohol fueled decision, Riyo yanked her arm backwards, holding it out of its owners reach. 

_Goddamnit, Chuchi, now you're just asking for it. What the fuck do you think you're doing._

But the damage was done, the drunk, horny teenager part of her brain had won and when her eyes met Ahsoka's she knew her fate was sealed. She had poked the bear and it had a serious smartphone addiction. Next thing she knew she had her back pressed up against the headboard, her shoulder nearly popping out of its socket as she desperately tried to keep possession of the phone and pushed the other girl as far away from her as she managed. Ahsoka grabbed her by the waist and pulled her away from the headboard like it was nothing and Riyo shrieked. Changing tactics, she buried the phone underneath her back along with both her hands. 

She realised her mistake when Ahsoka positioned her hands left and right at her head and looked down at her with a smirk that radiated superiority. 

The faint music from downstairs, the ceiling lights and worries that had plagued her ever since Ahsoka had asked her to come to their game, everything faded away into nothingness as Riyo looked up at the girl who had become the closest friend she had ever had in such a short amount of time. A girl so beautiful, so genuine and funny that Riyo sometimes asked herself how she could have ever lived without her. 

"You fucked up, Chuchi," the oblivious girl gloated. 

Riyo couldn't help it and bit her lip, all too aware of the mistake she was about to make, yet too intoxicated to care enough to stop herself. 

"Yeah, I did," was all she managed to whisper. 

By the changing expression on her face Riyo could tell Ahsoka knew that it wasn't their little wrestle that she was referring to and then there was something in her eyes Riyo hadn't expected to see. The playfulness had faded and made way for something that much more resembled - 

"Oh," Riyo coaxed out before her mind went completely blank as Ahsoka leaned in. 

When their lips connected Riyo closed her eyes. She felt the gentle pressure, how unbelievably soft Ahsoka's lips were against her own and marvelled at how natural it seemed to her. Before she knew it she had raised her hands from under her back to cup the girl's face and traced a thumb along her jaw as she kissed her again. And again. And again.

And then they both remembered there was such a thing as oxygen they relied on to live and broke apart, foreheads touching as gasped for breath. That was when reality came back, barrelling into Riyo at a hundred miles an hour. She had just kissed her best friend. And her best friend had kissed her back. They were drunk though, so it didn't have to mean anything. People kissed other people all the time when they were drunk. That didn't mean things had to change between them. Everything could just go back to the way it had been and they would be fine. 

_But would it be as good as this?_

Riyo shook her head. Suddenly the room seemed to small, too restricting, airless. Suffocating. 

"Riyo, are you-" 

The other girl had sat up to give her more space and in any other case Riyo would have greatly appreciated that small gesture of kindness but in this instance she barely even registered it. 

"I'm sorry," she heard herself mutter but it sounded off, like it wasn't her voice at all. She rolled to her side and for a second she wasn't sure she would make it to the door without falling but then the room stopped spinning and she was clutching the handle. Twisting the key was a different story but somehow she managed that as well and was out of the room, out of the house in the next moment. What she didn't manage was shaking the image of Ahsoka's concerned, confused expression and the desperate tone of her voice as she pleaded her to stay, to just talk to her. But Riyo couldn't. 

_You knew this would happen. And now you have no one to blame for it but yourself._

And she knew the nagging voice in the back of her head was right. She had just ruined the one thing she had going for her and it was no one's fault but her own. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> get what i meant by that now? ngl i was sceptical about this whole thing after re-reading the last chapter bc wow that was... mediocre at best? but this one right here entertained me as well (i wrote it waaaay back when i was in the hospital pre-corona times) and im thinking of writing more modern AU stuff for riyosoka and maybe some Anakin/Rex bc those boys really grew on me. if you have any suggestions lemme know and as always let me know what you liked/if you liked it. stay safe and healthy you guys! ^-^


	11. Drunk in Love pt2

By the time Ahsoka could process what had just happened it was too late. 

_I kissed her and she kissed me back. And now she's gone._

There were two options now: run after her and hope to get some much needed answers or stay and hope to distract herself enough to not go insane. Granted, the first option sounded a million times better to Ahsoka, seeing as she had always leaned more towards a hands-on approach to, well, anything in life. But she had also learned that in Riyo's case it was sometimes better to just leave things alone. If she wanted to she would tell her. On her own terms.

So distraction it was. After a deep breath that failed to clear her clouded mind Ahsoka went to pick up her phone. For moment there she doubted her alcohol tolerance, convinced she was seeing double before realising that no, there were in fact two phones on her bed. Hers and Riyo's. 

_Damn those tiny ass pockets they put on women's jeans._

The thought of her crush, friend, Riyo, being out there, probably alone, definitely drunk and without any means of calling for help was a deeply unsettling one. Unsettling enough to make her leave her room against her initial judgement. 

As she stumbled down the stairs her eyes darted around the room but she couldn't make out much more than blurred figures in dim lighting. Not that she was expecting to find Riyo here anyways. Running into her brother or one of her friends would have been useful just about now, though. She had almost made it to the base of the stairs when she did run into someone.

"Ahsoka?" quipped a familiar voice and Ahsoka barely contained a groan as she found herself face to face with none other than Lux Bonteri. 

Not up for his spiel, she put a hand on his arm, gently pushing him to the side. 

"Lux, it's really not a good time."

"It's been a while," he chuckled, either completely ignoring what she'd said or simply too incompetent to read the room. If she had to guess Ahsoka would have said a bit of both probably. 

"So this is where you live now? Pretty big for just two people, isn't it?" 

Despite her rather intoxicated state she could read the question between the lines and because of it she elected to forgo all niceties and make it explicitly clear that her interest in him had subsided the moment he had kissed her. At least, that's what she would have done if Anakin and Rex hadn't appeared out of nowhere. 

"Bonteri, what a surprise to see you here!" Anakin yelled into the shorter guy's ear, wrapping one arm tightly around his shoulders. The look of utter terror on Lux's face brought a smile to Ahsoka's lips. 

"I didn't actually think you'd be desperate enough to come down here but you have a way of subverting expectations," he rambled on, Lux's attempts at interrupting him falling on deaf ears, "you know, with your history and everything I don't think I would want to see Ahsoka, like, ever again. Doesn't it hurt to know that you're so bad of a kisser you actually turned your first girlfriend gay?" 

For the first time in the three years she had known him, Lux Bonteri was speechless. The stunned silence was soon broken by stifled laughter from both Tano/Skywalker siblings as Rex took it upon himself to pull the poor boy out of Anakin's grasp and send him out into the crowd surrounding them. Her brother was still laughing as he pulled Rex into him instead who just shook his head, biting back a smile of his own. 

"That guy is a pain in the ass but you really didn't have to do him like that," said the voice of reason. 

"But it was funny and true!" Anakin exclaimed, putting emphasis on the 'and' by bumping his nose against Rex's forehead. 

"It was certainly one of those. Your pick which," Ahsoka weighed in. The small high of seeing her ex-boyfriend get obliterated was wearing off, giving way to the gnawing anxiety regarding her current romantic interest. 

The couple in front of her seemed to be losing awareness of their surroundings by the second as they engaged in the non-verbal communication that made them such a deadly duo on the field. Whatever the two were debating it involved an ungodly amount of tense eye contact and Ahsoka quickly decided she didn't want to stick around to figure out where this was headed. 

"Uh, you don't happen to know where Riyo is, do you?" 

Rex snapped out of his trance at the question and shook his head. She couldn't say the same for her brother who apparently had forgotten a world outside of Rex existed but Ahsoka simply made a mental note to tease him for it once they were both sober again. Right now she had more urgent concerns. 

Leaving them to do what drunk, horny teenage boys do, Ahsoka headed for the door. She cursed under her breath when she was greeted by the chatter of another dozen people clattering her front porch. 

"Where did you all come from?" she whispered to herself as she looked around in hopes of maybe, just maybe-

"Ahsoka, over here!" 

Sitting on the hood of a car in their driveway were Padmé and Obi-Wan. Padmé was waving for her to join them. Reluctantly, Ahsoka obeyed. 

"Have you guys seen Riyo?" she asked as soon as she came within earshot. 

"If we had," Obi-Wan squinted at her, "what would be in it for us if we told you?" 

Padmé, whose legs were crossed at a strategically placed and no doubt delicately calculated angle as Ahsoka now realised, shoved him hard enough to cause him to slide off the car and fall to the ground with a yelp. 

"Don't mind him, darling, he's just dying to get more weed," she apologised, waving her hand dismissively in the direction of Obi-Wans grunts. 

"But just a tip, you might want to go and ask your mom." 

She was about to inquire what the hell her mother had to with all of this when something on the other side of the street caught her eye. The porch light was burning. 

When she turned back to Padmé her friend gave her an encouraging nod that read 'what are you waiting for?'. 

_Yeah, what are you waiting for?_

Her mind was running wild with a billion things that she could use right about now or reasons not to push it. She had found Riyo, she was safe and that's all she'd wanted to know. Except, not really. 

Before she knew it her feet had carried her all the way across the street already. Standing in front of her parent's house she faltered, suddenly unsure of what to do. 

_You can't just stand here like Edward the fucking vampire._

Her brain did have a point. 

Slowly pushing down the handle she opened the gate and entered, gently closing it behind her. Just as she stepped foot onto the porch Artoo raised his head to look at her. Following the dog's example the girl beside him turned to look at her, too, and Ahsoka's wary smile was met with an equally lopsided one. 

Riyo wordlessly patted the spot next to her and Ahsoka gratefully sat, pulling Riyo's phone from her pocket and holding it out to her. 

"You kind of lost that when you-" 

"Ran away?" 

Well, she wouldn't have put it that harshly but technically speaking, that was just what Riyo had done. Ahsoka settled for a part shrug, part nod. 

"Yeah, I figured when I was already down the street," Riyo continued, running her hand over Artoo's fur, "but I couldn't make myself go in there again so I just hovered for a moment and then I thought I'd just walk home. And then I remembered to get there I'd have to either walk a path through the trees or along a cornfield and when I saw this guy staring at me during my mental breakdown I kind of, uh, decided to trespass instead."

"I'm glad you found him to be a better alternative to getting abducted." 

Riyo agreed quietly. Then she sighed and said:

"This is why I ran."

"My poorly timed jokes?"

Riyo shifted in her spot to face her and took a deep breath. 

"No, not your jokes. Well, kind of, yes, but not in a bad way. It's the fact that I can feel like this and you make one bad joke," 

Ahsoka winced at the word bad,

"and it makes me smile regardless. It's the fact that you came looking for me even though you probably knew well enough that I'm in no mood for company. It's the fact that you're here, calm as ever, although I just basically fled the scene after we made out as if someone had been murdered."

"Sorry, I don't think I'm following. Why exactly are these things so horrible of me to do?" 

When Riyo looked at her there was a sadness in her eyes Ahsoka hadn't seen before. It made her seem older than she actually was and Ahsoka sensed childhood trauma. 

"That's the problem. They're not. That's all the things that make you so unique and perfect and it scares the hell out of me. Because I can tell when you look at me like this that you feel it too. And I know myself, I know that I'm bound to run. I can't stand it when people get too close. I never got used to it. So now, whenever someone tries to actually be there for me, to get close to me, it feels like they're suffocating me. It doesn't matter how much I love them back, sooner or later I'll break under the weight of their expectations and when that happens things get ugly fast."

If Ahsoka thought her alarm bells had gone off before she certainly hadn't been ready for that one. But she made a mental note about it as well and let it go. For now. 

"And I just, I don't want to go through that again, can you understand that?" 

"Of course I can," she answered earnestly and felt her heart break a little when she watched the other girl nod slowly, head bowed, avoiding her eyes. 

"I really, really like you, Ahsoka," Riyo said, her voice small and shaky.

"I wish things were different because I know you would never hurt me. And you deserve this chance but I just, you also deserve someone who won't run away. And I can't promise you that." 

She stayed silent for a minute, letting everything Riyo had said sink in. And then decided it was bullshit.

"But why do they need to be different? Riyo, I like you too. A lot. Isn't that enough?" 

"Ahsoka, I-" 

"Hear me out, okay? Now I get that you're flawed. I wouldn't expect you to be perfect, I've known enough people in my lifetime to come to the realisation that we're all differing degrees of fucked up. It's just a matter of finding the people who are fucked up in similar ways as you. So you're going to need a lot of space. I can give you that. I have a life outside of this friendship, you know that. I for my part am gonna need a shit ton of patience. In case you haven't noticed, I can be quite annoying sometimes."

Riyo stayed in quiet thought for a couple of seconds and Ahsoka could almost see the wheels turning in her head. After a small eternity she lifted her head. 

"I'll also need you take this slow. This is new territory for me." 

"Only if you can deal with my childhood trauma." 

"I do have a fair share of that myself, believe me." 

"How about some crippling fear of failure?"

"Oh no, just your standard medicated anxiety disorder for me, please." 

Ahsoka looked at her and found Riyo smiling, despite their more than absurd conversation. 

"So that's a yes?"

Riyo sighed and rolled her eyes before ever so slightly nodding her head. The smile never left her lips, though. 

"Yes." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so that's it. it's a wrap. a huge fucking thank you to everyone who's stuck with this little project, especially to those of you who commented and left kudos because i cannot describe how close to just,like, not finishing this i was at some points. but the knowledge that there's even just two or three people who are actually interested in this kept me going and that credit goes to you <3   
> i hope you're satisfied with how this turned out in the end. if there's anything you feel was missing or something you'd rly like to see leave a comment or message me on my tumblr @bad-choices-and-femslash, im more than inclined to add random one shots to my list of works and drabbles are the one thing i can actually write. 
> 
> on a different note, i have come up with an idea and a rough draft on another modern AU so keep an eye out the next couple weeks bc it might just hit this platform. 
> 
> again, if you're still reading this, thank you so so much and stay healthy and relatively sane in these crazy times. much love, you guys!! ^-^


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